Should I reach out for closure

[clvrnn]

 

I'd attempted contact earlier today and received no response. I'd been NC for two weeks, hoping that the air would clear after an argument, and a second break up initiated by pwBPD. There's been no response at this stage, and I think pwBPD may have moved on to a new interest, as she's been online pretty much constantly, which is unusual for her.

I feel hurt, obviously. I had hoped we would reconcile, but that hasn't happened. Instead, she gradually just stopped talking to me and I don't know the actual reason. I also feel frustrated that she broke up with me when things were going well, in the midst of an argument.

I am feeling quite overwhelmed with everything, and I don't know what to do next.

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

do you think reaching out for closure might be an anxious response to the fact that she hasnt responded yet? a sort of cut your losses, protect from vulnerability kind of thing?

[clvrnn]

do you think reaching out for closure might be an anxious response to the fact that she hasnt responded yet? a sort of cut your losses, protect from vulnerability kind of thing?

I think it's more about the anxiety of the seeing her online all the time and realising that she is no longer interested in me; and yes, the lack of response while she's still online, engaging in whatever she's engaging in. It's really overwhelming.

I don't even know what I'd say. I almost felt as if I'd made progress but this has all made things very painful. I don't even know why things feel this painful.

[once removed]

do you have a way of hiding her, unfollowing her, that sort of thing, so that you cant see her online?

[clvrnn]

do you have a way of hiding her, unfollowing her, that sort of thing, so that you cant see her online?

Yes, I've deleted her number now because it was via a messaging app on my phone. Very easy to just click onto her name and view her online from there.

[once removed]

that ought to help. i know its difficult with some forms of social media to hide anyone, and nobody needs that!

[clvrnn]

I wonder if I should just send some sort of closure contact, I don't know.

I feel very stupid. I feel as if an ex ignoring an ex is typical of most relationships, BPD or not. Maybe I'm just overreacting to everything, and these are my own issues.

[once removed]

anxiety tells us that we have to act right now, in order to end the anxiety. a lot of time, we regret it afterward.

you dont have to do anything right now.