Hi and welcome to the parent, sibling and in-law (PSI) board. All of us on this board are dealing with or have dealt with a family member with mental illness or very difficult behaviors so you are not alone.
is it common that nonBPDs who end up in relationships with BPDs grew up with BPD parent(s)? Is this something that I might want to explore? Or might there be other traits/commonalities that might make me vulnerable to a BPD relationship? I ask because I really want to understand whether there might be this personal dynamic that I can address and help with the healing process...
I think it happens more often than people realize. I also think it is worth looking into. We do tend to be drawn to what is comfortable, even if what is comfortable is unhealthy and abusive. Maybe a better word is familiar. A lot of times we find that we are trying to resolve issues from the past with people in our present, recreating a dynamic that mirrors aspects of the past.
The good news is that you can learn to process the past and change how you interact in your current and future relationships. It is rare to come out of an abusive and difficult childhood without our own behaviors that need to be addressed.
What sort of things do you think you want to work on?
