Can I eventually open up and contribute to a lasting relationship?

[PeaceNLove]

Hello Friends,
I was on this site previously when I was embroiled in a r/s with a PWBPD. It was a horrible time in my life and I eventually got out and redesigned my life. I describe my self as a thriver. I count my blessings daily and have much joy in my life. But I am now realizing I still deal with after effects of the verbal and physical abuse. I am now wishing for a meaningful long lasting relationship. Problem is I don’t date a man more than a handful of times no matter how nice they seem and I definitely don’t invite them to be intimate. I have dated some nice, intelligent professional guys. But I’m just not letting anyone in and my sense of independence is strong. I’m wondering if this is how the rest of my life will be or can I eventually open up and contribute to a lasting relationship?

[Mindfried]

I am guessing you are not fully ready or haven't had the amazing chemistry with the nice fella's you have been meeting or both. I am also guessing you are enjoying the  freedom you have and the mental clarity you have from not being in a relationship. It will happen when the time is right and it is supposed to happen. No worries enjoy the journey.

[I Am Redeemed]

Hi PeaceNLove,

It takes time to heal from verbal and emotional abuse. Have you considered seeing a counselor to help you work through the after effects?

Sometimes these relationships cause trauma that goes unresolved. Time away from the relationship may not be enough in and of itself to allow you to heal inwardly.

Can you identify anything that triggers your anxiety of getting close to someone again?

Blessings and peace,

Redeemed