Hi Leslieelf and welcome!
I'm so sorry you're in this situation but very glad you found us.
I can definitely understand. When my undiagnosed husband was in his bad phase and went out of town, it was like a wonderful holiday. I basked in the freedom and dreaded his return.
Also, during his bad phase, he would go into these long rants and circular arguments that would last until all hours of the morning.
The thing was, so often I felt like I must be losing my mind. That this couldn't be real. That the verbal and emotional abuse must be something I was imagining. Or, in the light of day, I'd feel like surely I must have misinterpreted the night before -- and yet, that wasn't so. It was all real. It all happened. And it WAS as bad as I thought. Finding this board was like a gift. I learned so much and found so much support from my fellow board members.
I know what you mean about it being hard to explain. But this is a safe place full of people who "get it." We've been there. Or we are there. We understand where you're coming from. We even have some tips and tools that can help make things better -- if that's what you want. Or if you just want to vent and have people who understand and can empathize, we can do that for you, too. Just keep posting. Let us know how we can help.
