uBPDh was doing so well for a long time.
For several months, he was not exploding, threatening divorce or calling me names. H has not punched a hole in the wall for months. He presented me with a handsome piece of jewellery as a gift and said it was a long time in coming, that I deserved it, and that he did not want to be like his father. (FIL is uNPD or uBPD.) For your information, H is deeply enmeshed with his adult children, treats them like friends, values their opinions over mine, and has an unhealthy electra complex with his daughters. I feel like an outsider in my own marriage.
Then in the last few weeks, things changed. I am still in a state of depression for years of abuse, and find it hard to get out of bed and clean the house at times. This apparently does not sit well with H. I discovered he must have broken a ceramic flower vase and the pets' steel water dish was horribly dented.
I texted him about this and he admitted to breaking the vase with the water dish. I wonder what his demeanour will be when he gets home from work. Logic tells me a BPD will blame. H will blame me for causing him to break the objects due to my laziness.
Cleaning the house seems impossible at times, and with the symbolic violence I have witnessed, I feel like I have a dagger at my back to complete these tasks. H no longer threatens divorce, but he is still breaking items.
https://www.doorwaysva.org/our-work/education-advocacy/the-facts-about-domestic-violence/types-of-domestic-violence/