The little things

[JNChell]

I had a great time with S4 today. It was a first. The town that we live in (S4 part time) had their annual festival. We road rides together...over and over.  We played games, watched an AC/DC cover band. Not really a fan, but live music is much different than hearing it through speakers, and these guys really pull it off. I was impressed. S4 was bobbing his head. It was raw rock n roll. That’s what AC/DC is and I appreciate it. He had ice cream that melted faster than he could eat it. Lemon shake ups and cotton candy. The festival is within walking distance from our home. We went twice. The second time around, we wore ourselves out. Today didn’t have a price tag. It was too much fun to worry about that. He also doesn’t have a bedtime tonight. He’s struggling to stay awake. Just one of those days where the rules don’t apply within reason.

His mom is very good about doing stuff like this with him. I could go into how I was excluded from these things when we were together, but I won’t. I feel really good about the day that S4 and I just had. It’s time to plan more things like this. Seeing his joy from outside sources made me so happy. He had so much fun. So did I. Honestly, we were in tune today. I just wanted to share something positive.

I think it’s important to pay attention to the little things. The moments that bring us joy. The smiles on a Ferris Wheel. The little things.

[WindofChange]

Reading your post made me smile. I agree, the little things mean so much. I can remember times with my kids when they were little, laughing with them and playing. And the times now, laughing with my youngest (we have the same goofy sense of humor), talking with my oldest as he is trying to figure out his next step after graduating from college. Time with family laughing at all of our inside jokes.
A beautiful sunrise, the birds singing as the weather warms up, cruising through the water on my kayak Saturday watching a great blue heron take off from the bank and fly across the water in front of me. I could go on and on. These are the moments I've noticed lately.  

[I Am Redeemed]

The little things, yes, it's so important to notice them, because no one moment will ever be repeated or replaced.

S6 graduates kindergarten tomorrow. D5 will start kindergarten this fall. My oldest daughter was in kindergarten when S6 was born. D10 was in kindergarten when D5 was born, and now, this fall, both of those two will be in (dun dun DAHHH...) Middle School oh, Lord, help me

I try to pay so much attention to the nice moments I have with s3, the baby of the bunch. I was so distracted for many years by the chaos and drama. Now, I have enough serenity to focus on and appreciate the little things... like s3 patting my arm and saying "Love Mommy" 

[WindofChange]

Redeemed, how sweet! They are adorable at that age! I miss that so much now mine are in their early 20s. I'm glad you're starting to be able to enjoy the time with your baby again, and with all of them.  

[Starfire]

As crazy as this may sound, there are times when I am grateful for the experience with my BPD ex because it was the catalyst for me to finally truly understand the choices I've made in romantic relationships. I was harmed so much by that experience that I could no longer leave the underlying issues with myself unexamined.  Now that I've done that, I have a truly healthy relationship and every day I notice the lovely little things.

For me, it's a sign of healing that the little things are now the big things.

[JNChell]

Hey, WoC. I imagine that we as parents will always see them the same way. I look at pics of S4 at 6 months old. He looks different in the pics, but he looks the same in person as he did back then in real time. Same expressions, same laugh and all of that stuff. He’s becoming mindful to a certain point. He asks questions after doing something that he shouldn’t have, and he’s also starting to ask before he does something he shouldn’t. He’s learning. We have a solid routine when he’s here. I almost don’t even have to tell him what’s up anymore. After he’s done with dinner, he’s already running his bath.

[JNChell]

Redeemed, you have very full hands! I’m glad that you’re able to notice the little nuances like being patted on the arm. One of favorites, which I think he’s grown out of, was him waking up in the morning and calling for me. Now he just comes out and finds me in the morning. I’m proud of him. He’s growing.

[I Am Redeemed]

Redeemed, you have very full hands!

Yep, and I didn't even mention S7 . I am very proud of all of them. Tomorrow I am taking all six kids out to eat. We should have plenty of ''little things" moments to remember after that  

It's great to see how they grow and change. I remember when D12 used to stand on a chair and help me stir the spaghetti. Now, she can cook and bake some things all by herself. It's amazing  

[WindofChange]

Wow Redeemed, six kids! You are blessed...and busy!   How was dinner with all of them?
JNChell, it is an amazing experience to watch them grow and change, isn't it? Yes, sometimes I'll see the boys smile or laugh and they look like little boys again, for just a moment (pulls at the heartstrings, for sure).
Redeemed, I get what you mean about being grateful for the experience.  My experience revealed to me that I have always had poor boundaries. I wasn't even aware that was a thing. I'm still processing it all, but I hope to one day be in a healthy relationship again. My ex-husband, with all of his faults, was nothing like my BPD ex. He was emotionally very stable and steady. There were just other issues. But one of these days, when I'm ready, I'll have a healthy relationship. I'm glad you are happy in the one you're in now, after all you went through with your ex!