Hard to pin point

[Peaceismypurpose]

I know this is standard fare while being in a relationship w someone who has BPD yet i end up feeling crazy after a relentless stream if the same behavior

Essentially my partner w broderline is oozing passive agressive actions and casting tones. yelling and so on.  I am calmly making her aware that it is hurtful to me any the children and asking how she feels. (With minimal result) trying to draw boundaries w by saying i am going to take the children out for some food so she can have space.  Resulting in cursing yelling name calling and so on. (Her father was just diagnosed w cancer so she is extra volatile) .
This scenario has been played out several times.  Im taking all perscribed maneuvers found in books and in my couples and solo therapy... just feeling drained... literally tired from the attacks without any or minimal kindness to counter balance...

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi.

What you describe sounds difficult and tiring.  Unfortunately it also sounds familiar.  I think you will find as you settle in and read and post in other threads that many here can relate.  The good news is that we work together here to improve things for us and support each other.

what are the books you have read and what communication techniques have you tried?

Taking the kids out and allowing your wife to self soothe is actually really good.  How lone have you been doing that?  i ask because sometimes when you first start changing your pattern of behavior there is resistance and sometimes an increase in the unwanted behavior.  If that is happening, it does not mean the boundary is not working though.  It is very important to be consistent.

Can you tell us more about your family?  the kids?