toxic masculinity or NPD/BPD

[hotncold]

I recently had a conversation that made me wonder if sometimes some of the problems we encounter are actually symptoms of toxic cultural norms. My BPDex played the vulnerable child in need of saving but when it came to true vulnerability: telling me how he felt, what he wanted, being emotionally real and honest he was never able to do it. He would always revert to the discard. I was discussing this with a friend who has the same cultural background with my ex and she indicated that my BPDexs behaviour likely meant he wanted something very serious with me. I never saw it because he was never direct with me about it. He never told me he wanted something more serious with me. He would only tell me I meant nothing to him when we got in fights. Or that he had once wanted something very serious with me but because I had done something he disapproved of (asked for space) that was over. He certainly had BPD/BPD traits but I wonder if other problems also arrise from this attitude that some men expect women to fawn over them while they act like emotionally unavailable bad boys who toss women out and never themselves express any true vulnerability or authentic feelings. Of course there are similar toxic cultural norms that might also exacerbate these symptoms in women. Would be interested in your thoughts. I realize this emotional aloofness in men is a thing and I'm not sure it's BPD/npd but perhaps tied to the fact that men Are not encouraged to communicate their feelings. I have seen this with many men. Not just BPDex.

[zachira]

You might want to look at the Goodmenproject's website which deals with how men are affected by cultural norms and helps men examine what it means to be a man.