Mindfulness meditation for us parents

[FaithHopeLove]

On my on going quest for the best self care, I am getting curious about what it means to practice mindfulness, not just for pwbpd but for us as parents of pwbpd. Who here incorporates mindfulness and/or other forms of meditation into their self care plan? What is your practice? Does it help?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

I practice mindfulness every day.

4 years ago H and I attended two mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) classes, one for beginners, and then another one for parenting.

I use the Insight Timer app I downloaded to my phone and over the years have collected a small library of meditations that I turn to depending on mood.

A few years ago the app had a 365 day challenge which introduced different kinds of meditation according to themes that changed each week. It was a nice way to wander around the meditation landscape and figure out what fit.

H can tell when I drift away from meditating.

It definitely helps me. I notice my practice deepening as the years go on. At first it was more like a rescue line and now it feels more spiritual, like I am able to detach from the specifics of my own story and feel more connected to the nature of suffering in general, if that makes sense.

[FaithHopeLove]

I know exactly what you mean by spiritually connecting to the suffering of others

[StressedOutDaily]

I participated in a mindfulness program at my church during lent this year, which really was a great introduction.    I try to spend at least 10 minutes each morning in a mindfulness exercise.   I found a great app - OAK  that has guided and unguided meditations and breath exercises (great for when I need a quick de-stressor) .
I just signed up for an 8 week week MBSR workshop with and all day retreat which starts next month.  I can not wait, I think it will be so beneficial because my stress level is off the charts at the moment.

Here is a 10 minute body scan youtube video - you really just need the audio
https://elishagoldstein.com/videos/10-minute-body-scan/

[zachira]

I use mindfulness meditation for dealing with the stress of having a mother and siblings with BPD. It really helps to practice on a daily basis for around an hour. I find that I observe my feelings and process them before any feeling becomes too overwhelming. It helps in dealing with what is bothering me in the moment and also to deal with the inevitable next round of hurtful mean behaviors from my family members. Good topic to bring up! I look forward to hearing from others about their experiences with mindfulness meditation.

[FaithHopeLove]

Thank you for all of these great recommendations! I already pray quite a bit (more and more as this difficult journey continues) but I have never really been intentional about meditating as well and I think I should be. I am going to start off with some apps. (Isn't there always an "app for that?" ) I look forward to hearing more from others about your experiences with mindfulness meditation.

[Lollypop]

Hi Faith

I used to have a rather odd app that I loved but I lost it when my phone died. It was an old Scottish guy who retired to a tiny village in the Spanish mountains who claimed he was a healer. He’d take me to his veranda and I’d look over the orange and lemon groves at dawn. I’d walk slowly down the steps and pluck an orange from one of the trees and slowly peel it, break a segment and ... got the picture?   

Of course, I’m a sucker for accents!

Now I use OAK to help me sleep.

I’m thinking of doing yoga but I’m slightly embarrassed because I’m on the large non-bendy side of slim!  Maybe I’ll start with swimming. But given I’m 55 and haven’t done any exercise I doubt it’ll happen. Never say never. I’m work in progress.

I do an art class Faith. When my hands are busy, my mind clears.

How would you like to spend your day today? I wish we could sit and have a cup of tea together and have a natter.
 
LP

[FaithHopeLove]

LP I would love to have tea with you

[livednlearned]

I’m thinking of doing yoga but I’m slightly embarrassed

Is there restorative yoga in your area? That can be a less judge-y type of yoga (apparently). I haven't been but feel the same way about joining a yoga class and feeling out of my depth.

[Lollypop]

Perhaps we both should enquire...

[PeaceMom]

As a bit of encouragement to anyone considering yoga, I have done all kinds of yoga in all types of class for 15 years. I have found almost every class to be exceedingly welcoming and nonjudgemental to all. I’ve seen elderly women, injured participants, children-basically everyone. They typical offer a free trial class or two.
Try it, you might just fall in love. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

I do yoga also and it is great and non judgmental.  Everyone is doing their own poses following the instructor.  I understand , I am 56 years old, but really, no one judges at all in the class.  There is also yoga on Youtube you can try at home, I just prefer being around people.   I  have learned the 16 second breathing exercise, where you breathe in and out 4 seconds apiece.  It helps in a pinch when there is panic.  I try to journal most days.  There is a "Mindspace" app that I hear is good although I haven't tried it out.

[Olimar]

I started doing yoga in November with my daughter who has BPD. She quit after a couple of weeks but I kept going and persuaded my husband to go with me. He was skeptical but amazed after the first lesson. We both go 5 to 6 times per week and try to practice at home if we can’t make class. It has saved me and made me stronger both mentally and physically, so that I have the ability to look after my daughter. I find the yoga community totally mindful. There is no judgment, only encouragement for arriving to your practice, at which we each set our own intentions. There are all shapes and sizes. Start with a yin class and see how you go!

[GaGrl]

I have practiced yoga for about ten years -- hugely helpful. I had my husband going to sessions with me -- grudgingly -- and he eventually had to admit it helped his flexibility.

I find mindfulness and meditation most helpful when falling asleep and then again when rousing to consciousness.