My Adult Daughter

[Parents! Get help here!]

My daughter has cut off everyone in the family which culminated with me.. her mother being asked to leave very abruptly. I have had many talks with my therapist who has given me insight since this has been a very long struggle and yes definitely stepping on eggshells. Any support I give is never enough and seems at times like a bottomless pit. I am now in my 7th decade and can no longer handle it like I used to. I worry terribly about my grand daughter now that my daughter has cut me off. My grand daughter is only 6 and almost 7. My daughter has gotten worse and is seeing a therapist who I believe is making the situation worse.

[Minzo]

My daughter has cut off everyone in the family which culminated with me.. her mother being asked to leave very abruptly. I have had many talks with my therapist who has given me insight since this has been a very long struggle and yes definitely stepping on eggshells. Any support I give is never enough and seems at times like a bottomless pit. I am now in my 7th decade and can no longer handle it like I used to. I worry terribly about my grand daughter now that my daughter has cut me off. My grand daughter is only 6 and almost 7. My daughter has gotten worse and is seeing a therapist who I believe is making the situation worse.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Minette]

I could have written this post.  This is exactly what has happened with my 29 year old daughter.  Within the last 6 months she has cut me off and her grandpa.  She keeps telling me she'll talk when she's ready.  She's never done this before.  She was diagnosed with bpd at age 16.  This is so hurtful right now.  She also finally starting seeing a therapist and I wonder if this is related to her change.

[Minzo]

Yes, I read your post and could also have written it myself. My daughter has always been very reactive and frankly difficult, which has caused others to keep a distance. She is, as you mentioned with your daughter, a wonderful and creative person. However, she is now on a very deep downward spiral augmented by money worries and a bad marriage. She has now sent message to family members telling them they are narcissists and she wants nothing to do with them.  Her therapist, which she claims is great, has not diagnosed her with other than PTSD from an incident when she was 16 with her father. She never gets over something bad and ruminates for years. She has not hurt herself yet physically but does regularly emotionally. She fits the profile for BPD but I am not a professional. She was also a difficult baby. I am worried for my grand daughter.

[Minette]

I wish I had more to offer, but I don't other than to never let my daughter feel I'm abandoning her.  Even now that she's in a way disowning her family or "devaluing" us, I still txt her and tell her she's loved.  Sometimes she replies but mostly she doesn't.  Abandonment is the huge fear of the person with bpd.  Im trying to give her space right now and hoping she'll come back around to how she was.  She's always loved her family. Her grandpa is like a dad to her.  It's very difficult because I know she suffers with this. I also worry this will eventually end her marriage

[Only Human]

Hello Minzo!

I join Minette in welcoming you here, though I'm sorry for the circumstances. I'm also a grandma and I can relate to how we worry about our GC (grandchildren). I've just got one, my DD's (dear daughter) son, 4-years-old.

She fits the profile for BPD but I am not a professional.

What are the behaviors that lead you to suspect BPD?

We have a lot of clinically responsible articles here and I encourage you to read all you can - knowledge about BPD has helped many of us to come to grips, begin moving forward. A good place to begin is the thread pinned to the top of this board, HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE It's got many of our best articles with links to many more. Take it at your own pace and come back here with any questions, we want to help.

I hope to hear more from you soon - you are not alone and talking about stuff helps.

~ OH

[Minzo]

Sorry, but where do I find How to Get the Most Out of This Site?
Thanks

[wendydarling]

Hello Minzo and welcome to the family

If you look at the top of this board (son/daughter) it is the third thread down, can you see it?

WDx