Paying for their treatment?

[Parents! Get help here!]

My 20yr old daughter now has a job and is due to get her first pay check.

We have been paying for her DBT and plan to keep on doing that as long as she continues to go.

She has been referred to a psychiatrist for her sleep issues, ADD assessment and anxiety. She is acting entitled and demanding how things will be done (she will go in alone, she will decide, she will she will she will...)

As the payer of the bills, do I not get some say? Do I not have the right to discuss what it is that the specialist deems fit for our child?

[MomSA]

My 20yr old daughter now has a job and is due to get her first pay check.

We have been paying for her DBT and plan to keep on doing that as long as she continues to go.

She has been referred to a psychiatrist for her sleep issues, ADD assessment and anxiety. She is acting entitled and demanding how things will be done (she will go in alone, she will decide, she will she will she will...)

As the payer of the bills, do I not get some say? Do I not have the right to discuss what it is that the specialist deems fit for our child?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

I know it is frustrating. We are in the same boat. The reality is once our children are legally adults, assuming they are not a threat to themselves or others, they are free to refuse or accept any treatment they want. Paying their bills doesnt change that.

[GaGrl]

Yes, that's the way it works with HIPAA. Only the patient can sign for info to be shared.

[MomSA]

I get that from a processionals point of view but I was asking from a mom to daughters point of view.

She is currently sitting in her room cramming for a tests he knew was coming for 4 weeks drinking Red Bull and Monster Energy but will in her next breathe complain about anxiety and lack of sleep...

I feel that both her therapist and the psychiatrist need to know this kind of information so that they can correctly advise her and not just medicate  her - and particularly if I am
Paying?

[PeaceMom]

MomSA,
I have had to email counselor info I want her to have, especially dangerous behavior, legal issues, drugs, random sex. the counselor said this receiving of info doesn’t violate dr /patient privilege. I’m the one allowing my DD19 to live here so I can share whatever I want. The therapist can choose to address it or not. Another therapist used to require me to email her and copy my DD every time. That way the info I shared was open for discussion. Another therapist allowed me to come in to session for first 15 min about 1 time a month to “share current concerns”.
We’ve also been able to schedule family meetings that don’t interfere with individual sessions. If my DD goes to therapy and lies the whole time, I do not feel I should pay. Please post how you decide to resolve this as I can learn from you! Thanks

[wendydarling]

Hi MomSA

I too understand.

I learnt to butt out and have faith my DD take responsibility for her mental health, immerse herself in understanding and learning her disorders from professional help, how to help herself. Last thing my DD wanted, needed was my involvement. Loving support and me listening when she wants to share something, oh yes. My trust. I'm 4 years in my DD taking responsibility.

Perhaps give your DD some time, to build a relationship with the psychiatrist? See if she's ready?

You know best!

WDx

[wendydarling]

She is currently sitting in her room cramming for a tests he knew was coming for 4 weeks drinking Red Bull and Monster Energy but will in her next breathe complain about anxiety and lack of sleep...

I get that, she's doing her very best, it's overwhelming. x

[MomSA]

I learnt to butt out and have faith my DD take responsibility for her mental health, immerse herself in understanding and learning her disorders from professional help, how to help herself. Last thing my DD wanted, needed was my involvement.

What did/does "butting out" look like in your experience?

[wendydarling]

Hey MomSA, sorry I missed this.

Butting out, was me standing back and giving my DD the space she needed to walk forwards.

She is acting entitled and demanding how things will be done (she will go in alone, she will decide, she will she will she will...)

Let her go in alone, make decisions? Place responsibility where it lies. See what happens... you maybe surprised.

WDx