Im back

[FJM]

Its been a long time since i dont get to the site to read stories or tell mine.
Everything was going more or less fine, life is good, getting more and more dettached everyday.
This weekend her bestfriend died of cancer, i became friends with her during our relation too.
My head started thinking if i should talk to her or not? Shes blocked of everything in my phone.
I send her a short email the same day at nightime tellin her that im very sorry for her loss.
Gues what? She didnt even say thanks. She cheated replaced me and in her low i put the other cheek again, just for free.
I got bad blood again. I was over this PLEASE READ and now im back again.

[loyalwife]

FJM:
    I'm sorry that you put yourself out there, again.
   

She did'nt even say thanks

    She read it, but isn't considering your feelings right now, as she is wrapped up in her own dialog of pain, fear, abandonment etc., and your condolences have just been ingested not completely ignored. It's all about her right now and how she feels.  Bad blood, yes.
     I think that we all make the mistake of thinking that the pwBPD will see our motives, and respond appropriately. If she has moved on, she may see this as a move by you to contact her, not in the sense that you are sending a sympathy message. Look at it this way, it is all okay. You did what you knew was the right thing to do.
     
     

[Scarlet Phoenix]

Hi FJM, I'm sorry this stirred up bad feelings again, since you were doing well with getting on with your life.

Just a though: She might have you on a spam filter, or filtered into a specific folder that she doesn't look at very often. Would that make a difference?

[OutOfEgypt]

Sorry, FJM.  That's tough.  Try to not let it get under your skin too much, and try not to let it get you ruminating about what she's thinking.  It doesn't matter.  She doesn't need your comfort, and you don't need her acknowledgment of it.  If my ex lost someone, I wouldn't reach out and send my condolences.  It's not because I hate her, it's because there are many more reasons to *not* contact her than there are to reach out.

[once removed]

I got bad blood again. I was over this   and now im back again.

it happens. but it doesnt have to mean youre back at square one.

there are things, from time to time, that will test where we are in our detaching process. sometimes its a run in. sometimes its contact, or third party news. sometimes its going back to those places you went to as a couple, or listening to those songs that were yours as a couple, all sorts of things.

so if this tells you anything, its just that there is more work that remains.

looking at this: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=136462.msg1331263#msg1331263

where would you say you are in the stages of grief, and/or the stages of detachment?