A milder version of BPD

[Forgiveness]

Hi, I'm pretty new here.

Been with my GF for a year.

When I read through some of the stories here I think , wow, that is abusive! Break up with the person now!

And my own situation is so very similar but not as intense. She does not cheat on me, call me names, nor throw or break things. Her anger is not personal.

However she can go into a very dark period where she's extremely irritable. If I sit too close to her I'm crowding her. But if I move to the other side of the couch she comes over and cuddles me even closer than I was to her. If I put my arm around her, it's too hot in here. But 10 minutes later she grabs my arm and puts it around her. Then she says "Stop looking at me, why are you looking at me? Maybe I shouldn't be around any people. I'm so stressed."

So it's not the worst kind of anger, but I'm feeling traumatized by not being able to do anything right. She cancels or talks about cancelling about half of our dates because she just wants to be alone. I finally told her she can have as much alone time as she wants but I'd like to know ahead of time. The last minute cancelling is traumatic for me because I'm a widow, but I think it would be unpleasant even for a non-widow.

Does anyone here have any similar experience? Anger and irritability but not outright rage? How do you know when it's bad enough to need to get away from the person?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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