Poll: Would you date a married person?

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

This is has been going on for a while and with all three women - roller coaster feelings. You can see evensee it in this thread.

My first question is why have you not filled for divorce. She's out. This was a major issue with lady #3 and you promised her you were "on it" a year ago.  Your marriage is dark shadow on everything you do.

Why not get on with it?

Do you think it is hurting your current relationship?

I don't think my marriage has got anything to do with the state of mind of lady #3. She has devalued and discarded me which would have happened whether I'd still been married or not. My wife is out of the picture and lady #3 knows that I am committed to her. She hasn't even mentioned my wife for months. Her current beef is all about my perceived bad behaviour. She remembers the violence she inflicted on me as if I was the perpetrator and seems to have excused her own role in it. She effectively put me on probation when we reconnected, having said a few weeks previously that she wanted a life with me. It seems that as soon as she knew I was committed to her, she backed off.

My wife and I could do an internet divorce which is very quick and easy. Had I still been with lady #3 I'd have done it. My marriage is not really a factor as we are separated. Lady #2 is married also. Lady #3 has issues with me personally, not with me being married. It's a minefield of disorder and I really want to meet somebody neuro-typical that I can have a real relationship with. Not somebody who leaves me high and dry and in debt caused by something she wanted ie the holiday!

[RomanticFool]

This is has been going on for a while and with all three women - roller coaster feelings. You can see evensee it in this thread.

My first question is why have you not filled for divorce. She's out. This was a major issue with lady #3 and you promised her you were "on it" a year ago.  Your marriage is dark shadow on everything you do.

Why not get on with it?

Do you think it is hurting your current relationship?

I don't think my marriage has got anything to do with the state of mind of lady #3. She has devalued and discarded me which would have happened whether I'd still been married or not. My wife is out of the picture and lady #3 knows that I am committed to her. She hasn't even mentioned my wife for months. Her current beef is all about my perceived bad behaviour. She remembers the violence she inflicted on me as if I was the perpetrator and seems to have excused her own role in it. She effectively put me on probation when we reconnected, having said a few weeks previously that she wanted a life with me. It seems that as soon as she knew I was committed to her, she backed off.

My wife and I could do an internet divorce which is very quick and easy. Had I still been with lady #3 I'd have done it. My marriage is not really a factor as we are separated. Lady #2 is married also. Lady #3 has issues with me personally, not with me being married. It's a minefield of disorder and I really want to meet somebody neuro-typical that I can have a real relationship with. Not somebody who leaves me high and dry and in debt caused by something she wanted ie the holiday!

[Skip]

I don't think my marriage has got anything to do with the state of mind of lady #3.

If you read your history here, she was very upset about it. It became moot with time.  I'm not blaming the relationship problems on you - just saying that this is a bigger thing than you are seeing it as.

I really want to meet somebody neuro-typical that I can have a real relationship with. Not somebody who leaves me high and dry and in debt caused by something she wanted ie the holiday!

Do you think being married is limiting your access to healthy women?

[RomanticFool]

It has been a problem but not now as I am no longer with my wife. I think she is not well and has an over developed sense of revenge. She has devalued me and some of that is connected to my marriage regarding trust issues, but from the time my wife was no longer a factor she started pulling away from me. This is to do with a disordered mind convincing herself that I am the root cause of all her bad feelings. She may of course be right, but the glee with which she told me I can ‘swing’ for my money leads me to believe that alongside mental illness there is a deep rooted character flaw. Namely, the only two people she really cares about in life are her daughter and herself.

[RomanticFool]

I think the question of whether being married has affected my most recent break up is kind of a moot point. The woman concerned is in no doubt at all that I think the world of her, the problem is that she has an issue around having a sex life with her daughter being there more regularly. This is the current issue.

[Skip]

It has been a problem but not now as I am no longer with my wife.

None of the members voting in this poll would agree - a married man or one who is recently separated - it  is more of an issue than you realize.

... she has an issue around having a sex life with her daughter being there more regularly. This is the current issue.

Adults could work around the daughter being there... there is something going on underneath this that is causing the distance in the relationship.

[RomanticFool]

Yes, she has undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder and has painted me black. You’ve made this post about me being married and it’s not the issue as I am now separated. I split up with my wife in order to be with this woman. As I said, the minute I because available she started to back off.