It's been a while

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

It's been a while since my last post.  Since separating childcare has been 50-50.  Ex made a court application almost 2 years ago asking for kids to live with her and for me to see them supervised for a couple of hours every other weekend. Despite numerous hearings, and a judge who suggested she sorted this out outside of the Courts, she has kept going. Next hearing is in 4 weeks. At the last hearing there was an order for a court appointed guardian for the kids and also a family assessment by a psychiatrist/family therapist.

I have seen the reports for court from both. They both recommend 50-50 continues as both children want it, and kids have good relationships with both parents.  They also note the number of allegations made, and that if it turns out these allegations are malicious it will point to serious problems with my ex in terms of her managing her emotions.

5 years of nonsense, and at last it seems that the children's views are finally being heard and that ex's behaviour has finally been called into question.

I am hoping that we are moving towards finally ending these costly (emotionally and financially) court proceedings.

My kids have struggled a bit through this. I can't wait for more stability for them both.

On a positive note, my relationship of two years is going really well.  She is in stark contrast to my previous choices. Despite all the allegations about me at work by ex, I remain employed.

The last six months have been gruelling.  I have done a lot of going to bed early.

[SES]

It's been a while since my last post.  Since separating childcare has been 50-50.  Ex made a court application almost 2 years ago asking for kids to live with her and for me to see them supervised for a couple of hours every other weekend. Despite numerous hearings, and a judge who suggested she sorted this out outside of the Courts, she has kept going. Next hearing is in 4 weeks. At the last hearing there was an order for a court appointed guardian for the kids and also a family assessment by a psychiatrist/family therapist.

I have seen the reports for court from both. They both recommend 50-50 continues as both children want it, and kids have good relationships with both parents.  They also note the number of allegations made, and that if it turns out these allegations are malicious it will point to serious problems with my ex in terms of her managing her emotions.

5 years of nonsense, and at last it seems that the children's views are finally being heard and that ex's behaviour has finally been called into question.

I am hoping that we are moving towards finally ending these costly (emotionally and financially) court proceedings.

My kids have struggled a bit through this. I can't wait for more stability for them both.

On a positive note, my relationship of two years is going really well.  She is in stark contrast to my previous choices. Despite all the allegations about me at work by ex, I remain employed.

The last six months have been gruelling.  I have done a lot of going to bed early.

[mart555]

My kids have struggled a bit through this. I can't wait for more stability for them both.

What stability? By having them there 50% of the time?  Or will you try to get more than 50?

[StillHopeful73]

It sounds like things are looking up! Hoping for you and your kids' sake that this will all end soon. I remember how draining the court process was with my BPD ex...I can't imagine it lasting 5 years!

That's super that they are taking your kid's views seriously and equally super that her behaviour is being questioned. Sounds like it will end up working out more favorably for you and your kids. Then hopefully you can all move forward from it.

Are you and your kids in counselling? If they have been struggling, perhaps that will help. I went through the court process 5 years ago and I still see one. I find it really helps having her insight on how to deal with my BPD ex when it comes to parallel parenting.