I’ve been married for 12 years to a bpd who has been in counseling for most of those years up until recently. She now feels she doesn’t need it. Does BPD ever truly go away?
Are you still experiencing traits / behaviors?
Has anything changed from your perspective?
So your wife was diagnosed, and directed; encouraged to enter treatment (DBT?)…
If so, your way further than the majority of us,
I've been in a relationship with my wife for eleven years, eight married, now separated for almost eight months now… we are both previously married, 20+ years each, both of us are now mid fifties (approaching)…
If anything, she has slowed down in her degree and intensity of rage, I mean physically… but not frequency, or depth of dysregulative / dissociative emotions… in fact imho she is getting worse in her borderline mannerism / behaviors, I see a lot of paranoia now… which I've noted since her cancer dx… three years plus ago.
I think as they age, and what all goes with that, emotionally and physically; they may slow down in the intensity (physical), but the mental / emotional, no, it may actually get worse, if no diagnoses, resultant in any type of therapy, or self "epiphany" introspection… which is a hard thing to even come to for most of them, as most don't ever acknowledge that they are borderline (or any other "cluster" disorder).
… tough stuff, but at least we as the "non" in the relationship… "we know", it would be far worse if we didn't have any clue as to what was going on in my humble opinion, which was me, from about 2008 to mid 2016… it was rough, it still is, but now I have "insight"… "explanation".
I've read over and over… that borderline personality disorder, in fact any of the clusters, which borderline is in the "B" section… is / are not curable per say, as we understand the term;… even with years of therapy (intensive / expensive)… the borderline will only learn to 'manage' their traits, behaviors… "only learn to manage"… like alcoholism, diabetes etc'… I have also read, those of us whom stay, in the borderline relationship, depending on severity on the spectrum… must practice what is called "radical acceptance"… especially if the borderline is not diagnosed, and refuses cognitive awareness - dialectic treatment / talk therapy… in this case the "non" is now managing the borderline, in order to survive.
That last bit struck me right between the eyeballs...
Red5
