Dating anxiety part 4: I think I got it right for once

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Link to previous post here:

TL;DR: Started dating her (JD) a few months after being ghosted by my bpdex (MK). I've struggled with some stuff surrounding what "normal dating" is like and I've been posting some "highlights" of this.

JD is not really bpd, so like someone told me, this might be off topic if it weren't for how I'm comparing it to what my bpd "relationship" was like, but this is "... and learning after" so I'll keep posting it here

I'm going to assume its just not the right timing when "she's not feeling it"

That's where I've been for the past few weeks.

Today I asked to talk to her again after a weeks long hiatus in contact, including her telling me "she didn't want to see anyone".

She seemed happy and open to talk, though she was feeling like a cold is coming. she liked that I sent her a picture of a cactus I bought; I had given her a basil plant before that withered quite quickly in the summer heat (I bought one for me as well, lasted a few weeks longer than hers and I do know my plants so its not entirely her fault ), so it's a reference to her joke about she has "desert thumbs" instead of "green"

Well, after posts of anxiety and "what do I do" now I'm really excited that I got this right, giving time and keeping light contact until she was feeling emotionally better (though not physically, she's feeling kinda sick and she still said she was interested in seeing me  )

When I asked her to talk I was feeling like I had slipped somehow, like I shouldn't have sent it, "too early maybe, should have waited for her to talk to me first". Fortunately things seem to have turned out ok, but I can relate to other's stories of sending letters or messages wanting to "make things right" and have that not go like they hoped or not get an answer at all; it's not a good feeling.

Anyway, I'll post how it goes. Maybe she just want's to tell me its over face to face, who knows, I'll keep thinking positive .

We often mention "pwbpd are like everyone else, just more intense", and I can see now how my bad timing did affect my bpdex so much that she felt she needed to break it off multiple times, and also how her (MK's) interest got reignited given time (months in her case), enough to want to talk to me on and off for two years.

Ok so I'm a bit hype for this small "success" I'll leave it at this for now   

[itsmeSnap]

Link to previous post here:

TL;DR: Started dating her (JD) a few months after being ghosted by my bpdex (MK). I've struggled with some stuff surrounding what "normal dating" is like and I've been posting some "highlights" of this.

JD is not really bpd, so like someone told me, this might be off topic if it weren't for how I'm comparing it to what my bpd "relationship" was like, but this is "... and learning after" so I'll keep posting it here

I'm going to assume its just not the right timing when "she's not feeling it"

That's where I've been for the past few weeks.

Today I asked to talk to her again after a weeks long hiatus in contact, including her telling me "she didn't want to see anyone".

She seemed happy and open to talk, though she was feeling like a cold is coming. she liked that I sent her a picture of a cactus I bought; I had given her a basil plant before that withered quite quickly in the summer heat (I bought one for me as well, lasted a few weeks longer than hers and I do know my plants so its not entirely her fault ), so it's a reference to her joke about she has "desert thumbs" instead of "green"

Well, after posts of anxiety and "what do I do" now I'm really excited that I got this right, giving time and keeping light contact until she was feeling emotionally better (though not physically, she's feeling kinda sick and she still said she was interested in seeing me  )

When I asked her to talk I was feeling like I had slipped somehow, like I shouldn't have sent it, "too early maybe, should have waited for her to talk to me first". Fortunately things seem to have turned out ok, but I can relate to other's stories of sending letters or messages wanting to "make things right" and have that not go like they hoped or not get an answer at all; it's not a good feeling.

Anyway, I'll post how it goes. Maybe she just want's to tell me its over face to face, who knows, I'll keep thinking positive .

We often mention "pwbpd are like everyone else, just more intense", and I can see now how my bad timing did affect my bpdex so much that she felt she needed to break it off multiple times, and also how her (MK's) interest got reignited given time (months in her case), enough to want to talk to me on and off for two years.

Ok so I'm a bit hype for this small "success" I'll leave it at this for now   

[Cromwell]

Good to hear.

I sometimes get the same type of anxiety but it is more of an over concern of having been too open, or making a joke and hoping it got seen as one. Yet it turns out it was accepted and the mindplay and how it worried was all for nothing. I never used to feel like this, I do put it down to having had to learn to be hyper careful in relationship with BPD and this has carried on a bit. These incidents help to lose the idea that walking on eggshells and having to apologise for what seems trivial stuff, is just a habit to become unlearned in time. Congrats on making inroads here itsmesnap