Still in pain, still confused..

[Yoke]

Hi. Now its been almost 4 months since my ex uBpd left me with a textmessage. Some days i am just numb and dont cry, but i think of her everyday still. Not a word from her.. but i sent her a gift 2 weeks ago, a present i promised her when we were together. And she has picked it up at the postoffice. Because i got a receipt of it. I was 100% sure that i would get a very angry textmessage from her after that, but no. And that  made me confused. Not only that she picked it up from the postoffice, the fact that i never got any message of rage. Because she has always been soo fast to send me such when we were engaged and when she used the breakup/makeup.. is it because she really liked the present? (She knows them are from me) or she has just promised herself not to contact me ever again no matter what? Once when we had a big breakup, she promised herself never contact me again. But she did, she texted me 5 days later and started with" i promised on my daughters life not to contact you"... can it be that she hates me so much she does not even bother send me ? Its so not her to not send me. Am so confused here... can it be a way for her to say in a way that she misses me and wait for me to contact HER again? Or is it just my mind thats hoping for that? ..i know it might be so stupid of me contact her- but i want to do everything i can, to show her one last time that i am serious about her and fought for her into the last minute. I want to show her i did everything i could to show her that i did love her. Then she might understand it. It is not a way for me to get confirmed by it, but for ME its a sort of closure.  That i really did everything in my power, to show her i never gave up on her..US. please , am going crazy here. The last thing i want to do, is to make it all worse. I know she is gone...

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[Longterm]

Hi again Yoke.

I was 100% sure that i would get a very angry textmessage from her after that, but no.

I think it's the lack of a response that has got you upset. It does sound like you were expecting something in return for this gift. It can be tough to not reach out when we are left with these horrible emotions but I think it may be best for you to just leave her to it right now, even if your goal is to get her back eventually. These expectations are upsetting you and you are not thinking about what you need right now.

LT.

[Yoke]

Thanx @Longterm. No you got me all wrong here! I am not upset at all that i havent got any respond from her. I am just CONFUSED because ever since the day i met her, exactly everytime when she did not "like" what i may have upset her, triggered her she has always been so quick to show/tell me , of course always in textmessages that she either did not like it, that she would inform the police if i didnt stop try reach her, that she didnt think it was a good idea for me to text, do such.. etc.. She IS like that, i know her temper, and if something pisses her off, she TELLS it, trust me! So i wonder why she has not done it now. It would be a "perfect' option for her to throw out her rage and insult me now. But she did not... that is why i wrote here to hear what you might think... so no. Am not disappoited or expected her to thank me for the gift. Absolutely not... just confused about her behaviour. Thats not like her at all...