Need advice talking to son and daughter

[5min]

When (age) is it ok to discuss with a child that their parent has BPD?

How best does one explain and to what degree?

Has it blown up in your face?

How is this different for a step parent to explain that the blood parent has BPD?

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[Harri]

Hi 5min!

How old are the kids?

Do you think they are aware their mom has issues?

[5min]

They are 20 and 24 and both have asked what is wrong with her.

[Clock58]

I am in a similar situation.  Plus, a few years ago my uBPD spouse blew up at me when she found a copy of Walking on Eggshells in my bedroom (I was kicked out of our bedroom years ago, her room is now basically off limits, but mine is not...).  She was furious that my kids (in their 20s), might see this and draw the obvious conclusion.  Still, I discussed this with my son last week, and it seemed to go well.  He knew exactly what I was talking about...  My daughter is more difficult to engage with, so that's for another time.  I am certain, though, that at some point my wife will catch on that I told our son I think she has BPD and there is going to be an explosion.  I don't fear that as much as I used to. I hope that's some sort of sign of me taking back control of my life.  Best of luck to you.

[VaticanCameos]

When (age) is it ok to discuss with a child that their parent has BPD?

How best does one explain and to what degree?

Has it blown up in your face?

How is this different for a step parent to explain that the blood parent has BPD?

Hi, I'm new here, but looking for others with similar situations. My daughter is nearly 16 and I've spoken with her about her dad. She took it well...not scared or sad about it, but neither of us are sure how to help her deal with him. Usually, she just leaves the room when he comes in. I don't blame her, because he's highly unpredictable, but I don't want that kind of relationship for them.
Anyway, I'd say young teens can take this information well. I think it's better to let them know the truth so they know they are not to blame for the parent's behavior and so they know the parent isn't a bad person, just unwell.