New here Husband has not been officially diagnosed but feels certain he is BPD

[Prettypenny]

Hi Everyone!

I’m brand new and excited to find a site with BPD support. The hardest thing I deal with are his insults. Sometimes they get the best of me and I fire back just as harsh. More often then not lately I have been responding out of love (hardest thing ever) and things have been more harmonious. I have no doubt he loves me but when that BPD switch flips he can do things and say things that are so hurtful, it feels like he doesn’t love me at all. He is not physically abusive ( I would never take that) but verbally and emotionally. It has helped me tremendously to label the condition and things make a lot more sense now. We have a 2 year old son and one day I will have to explain to him about his fathers disorder. My Husband has not gotten any help for it and is still in denial although he fits the bill completely and agrees he has it when he is calm. I have realized when he is in a BPD mode the best thing that works is space, then he will feel sorry and apologize. It seems the times his BPD flares up the most is when we are getting closest. Things are happy and then something emotional comes up, he can’t deal and then starts cursing and insulting and being downright nasty. I love him and I feel empathy for his situation but sometimes I just want to put him in his place with the things he says and does.

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[VaticanCameos]

Hi, I'm new here as of today, as well, and see multiple similarities in our stories.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sucks so bad, I know.
I have a hard time not responding negatively when my husband lashes out and has "episodes" as well. So, I ended up retreating,crying,and staying away from him for a while.

I know I shouldn't take it personally,but sometimes I feel like the emotional punching bag for all his irrational,belligerent, unreasonable, over the top melt-downs.
Sometimes he realizes how horrible he was, sometimes not.
I'm just praying he gets some help, because he knows he's not well.

Again, you're not alone. I feel you. Hopefully we can all get through this in one piece