It's all BROKEN

[Parents! Get help here!]

My uBPD daughter has been REALLY good lately. (which clearly scares the heck out of me...cause the ball will drop ANYTIME now)  But has anyone else had issues with "the system"?  For instance...kiddo has been inpatient 3 times, and nothing EVER changes. She's just learning new ideas from her roomates/hospital buddies.  She did the day treatment..and all I felt she did there was learn to say the right things. She did outpatient care for 2 weeks...then insurance said "No more!"  I FINALLY got her a case manager with the county we live in...and that isn't doing much either. I waited ALMOST a year for an appointment for a full psych evaluation..we spent the entire day at that, and now I have to wait for another month for the results.  Finding any adolescent therapists around is next to impossible. I know that there is such a huge need for mental health for our kiddos...but does anyone else feel their kiddo is falling through the cracks? Like not enough is being done? I think mine needs a HARD dose of reality - but NO ONE WILL HELP...cause there aren't enough resources.  It's just frustrating that when you have a kiddo that has IMMEDIATE mental problems...you end up waiting MONTHS and MONTHS or longer for appointments.
Doesn't help that my kid hates therapy, and refuses to go. The only way I can make her is by having it court ordered...and no one will do that yet.  So, apparently, she'll need to get arrested in order to get any additional help.  That's just dumb.  and frustrating.

My MIL is also driving me nuts, cause she's filling my husbands head with bologna.  It's OUR fault that she behaves this way, we "ruined her" by giving her ADHD meds. She just needs "tougher discipline"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  The tougher discipline doesn't WORK.  I say "You are grounded to the house" she basically gives me the finger and leaves when I'm in the bathroom or sleeping.  I can't beat her, cause that won't work (nor make me feel any better) I can't take anything else away from her...but PLEASE...tell me again how this is all my fault for bad parenting.  Mood stabilizers have been recommended as a possible way to help her - and the hubs says "yah, well I don't want her to be zoned out on drugs forever"  hey bud...if she had diabetes would you say "I don't want her on INSULIN forever!"  I don't want her zoned out...I want her feeling her best!

ITS A CHEMICAL THING PEOPLE!  It's not due to bad parenting, it's not due to what you did or did not give them, or this or that, its just their brains/chemicals have BAD WIRING.  If I can give my kid some meds that will help her feel better...i'd certainly like to give it a shot!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

ok...rant over!  thanks for listening!

[Piper15]

My uBPD daughter has been REALLY good lately. (which clearly scares the heck out of me...cause the ball will drop ANYTIME now)  But has anyone else had issues with "the system"?  For instance...kiddo has been inpatient 3 times, and nothing EVER changes. She's just learning new ideas from her roomates/hospital buddies.  She did the day treatment..and all I felt she did there was learn to say the right things. She did outpatient care for 2 weeks...then insurance said "No more!"  I FINALLY got her a case manager with the county we live in...and that isn't doing much either. I waited ALMOST a year for an appointment for a full psych evaluation..we spent the entire day at that, and now I have to wait for another month for the results.  Finding any adolescent therapists around is next to impossible. I know that there is such a huge need for mental health for our kiddos...but does anyone else feel their kiddo is falling through the cracks? Like not enough is being done? I think mine needs a HARD dose of reality - but NO ONE WILL HELP...cause there aren't enough resources.  It's just frustrating that when you have a kiddo that has IMMEDIATE mental problems...you end up waiting MONTHS and MONTHS or longer for appointments.
Doesn't help that my kid hates therapy, and refuses to go. The only way I can make her is by having it court ordered...and no one will do that yet.  So, apparently, she'll need to get arrested in order to get any additional help.  That's just dumb.  and frustrating.

My MIL is also driving me nuts, cause she's filling my husbands head with bologna.  It's OUR fault that she behaves this way, we "ruined her" by giving her ADHD meds. She just needs "tougher discipline"  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  The tougher discipline doesn't WORK.  I say "You are grounded to the house" she basically gives me the finger and leaves when I'm in the bathroom or sleeping.  I can't beat her, cause that won't work (nor make me feel any better) I can't take anything else away from her...but PLEASE...tell me again how this is all my fault for bad parenting.  Mood stabilizers have been recommended as a possible way to help her - and the hubs says "yah, well I don't want her to be zoned out on drugs forever"  hey bud...if she had diabetes would you say "I don't want her on INSULIN forever!"  I don't want her zoned out...I want her feeling her best!

ITS A CHEMICAL THING PEOPLE!  It's not due to bad parenting, it's not due to what you did or did not give them, or this or that, its just their brains/chemicals have BAD WIRING.  If I can give my kid some meds that will help her feel better...i'd certainly like to give it a shot!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

ok...rant over!  thanks for listening!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

What a ridiculous thing for you MIL to say! Sadly, like many, she doesn't get it and yes, "the system" sucks. It's not just you. Unless they have been through it, most people have no clue about BPD. It's up to us to change that.