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[Redcake]

I have been married to my husband for 14 years. We have a blended family with 6 children but only our two living at home. My husband's BPD and depression got really bad in 2016 and he had 31 treatments of ECT. That helped the depression for a short amount of time but ended up effecting his memory. Not being able to remember long or short term memories didn't help the situation and ECT does nothing for BPD so it actually does nothing for depression because the depression seems to be driven by the BPD. I just need a place to get a little bit of support from others who know first hand what it's like to live with a spouse who suffers with BPD. Someone who is a really good person that you truly love but you ride a crazy roller coaster with.  Thanks.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Aburn4827]

My wife was diagnosed with BPD several years ago after going through an affair and having marital issues before finally seeking help.  We both started going to marriage counseling and things got a lot better, and then my wife continued seeing the counselor individually for BPD treatment.  Has your husband ever considered treatment for BPD?  I have to be honest with you though, even with treatment, we still have our ups and downs (currently in a down).  What has helped me is reading a lot on BPD, and having a better understanding of what’s going on.  It helps when I recognize whenever she is projecting or when she has outbursts of anger and  etc., and not to take it so personally.  But even that is easier said than done.  I also sought out counseling myself.  I want to make this marriage work more than anything, although I feel like sometimes I’m the only one of us that’s really trying.  My one hope is that, I can just hang on and ride out this low until we get through it and are back to “normal” again.  I would recommend seeking counseling for yourself as well.  It can really help just to talk things out and get a objective and unbiased perspective.  It has really helped me a lot.