God Painted Black

[Witz_End]

This may be a little bit of a lighter story, which happened tonight.  I actually laughed, but it interesting how seemingly disparate threads come together.

Over the past few months, she painted God black.  I don't know how God feels about this, but he did become the subject of her splitting.

The wife has been asked to be in a video for her school and wants to re-dye and cut her hair.  I usually handle these things for her.  When she is in a loving mood, she calls me her personal spa.  She asked me over the weekend later one evening and I said we had the red that she used before a dark almost black with colored shimmers she most recently switched to.  We liked that one before.

She got irritable and said she wanted the dark.  Without a thought, I told her I'd go get some and grabbed my shoes.  She stopped me and said it was getting too late, but was obviously brewing inside.  Patiently, I offered we could do the cut that night and follow up with the dark ahead wants on another day.  Obviously upset, she said she'd just have to do the video as is.  I knew it wasn't what she wanted, but knew she was brewing, so I told her I'd roll with whatever choice.

Today, she was sitting in our room and started to talk.  "You know, I think I've had a bad attitude about God.  And we tell the kids to fix their attitudes.  Maybe I should fix mine about God."

This led to a long narrative about a friend of hers who had had her whole family turn against her and throw her, her husband and kids out on the street... who had been struggling with what to do, homeless and trying to make ends meet for months before pulling up out of the situation, and how she had maintained her faith.  She rambled out the story of another, who lived in Central America and had been kidnapped with her son, then  released as her son was held for ransom, and how she had kept her faith as people prayed for them.  She went on about trials and tribulations we have faced in our lives and then concluded this whole long monologue about people standing with God through trials with the conclusion that...

"...so, I think I am going to go ahead with the red hair color."

It was like a non-sequiter punch line to a joke the way it came out as a conclusion after a long monologue having nothing to do with hair color and I laughed.  But, it shows the link in her mind and the way her mind works.  Everything is connected and state of mind can shift seemingly unrelated things.

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[Gemsforeyes]

Hi WE-

Good story.  I laughed.  GOD probably had a chuckle too.

Seems for a brief moment your W put things into perspective.  She explored where she was with her thoughts on GOD, how others had dealt with their trials yet kept their faith under dire circumstances.  In her stream of consciousness, she thought of her own life, her hair “problem” and the fact she already HAS the red hair dye... so she’s going with the red.  For that moment, with that thought, she felt fortunate to have what she has.

Maybe. 

I’m a stream of consciousness thinker, so I get how she would arrive at the hair color conclusion beginning with thoughts of GOD.

Your thoughts?

warmly,
Gemsforeyes

[Witz_End]

In her stream of consciousness, she thought of her own life, her hair “problem” and the fact she already HAS the red hair dye... so she’s going with the red.  For that moment, with that thought, she felt fortunate to have what she has.

Your thoughts?

I think it's more the color fitting what she feels inside - outer expression of inner identity.

She is not a pwBPD you hear about changing hair or style frequently because of lack of identity.  She has more of a sense of identity.  The dark likely reflected a darker feeling inside she tied to her anger at God.

But it was just so funny the way she voiced it.  It was a hilariously tangential conclusion.