How long has your person had BPD?

[Starbucks1234]

Just wondering how long they’ve had it or how long since you’ve noticed... and what age their BPD began. My husband always had some characteristics but things became more obvious when he was about 36 years old.

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[Radcliff]

BPD is a complex topic, but it is common, perhaps prevalent, for the roots of BPD to reach back to childhood, though technically it's not diagnosable until early adulthood.  Sometimes things work themselves out over time.  On the other hand, stress or big life changes can make symptoms worse.  What things were going on in your husband's life when he was 36?  How long ago was that?

RC

[waverider]

Many of BPD traits are not picked up until reviewed in hindsight. Often the origins are not so toxic. The worst of it comes out when they are in established and committed relationships/ Thats when you start seeing under the surface and they start to feel 'exposed" and react accordingly. In earlier years they just seem odd, maybe emotionally fickle and a little touchy.

Early signs can be they seem to always be the victim of somebody, so the blame gets laid elsewhere. Where they bullied at school/first job/by siblings/parents/anybody? Often this is misinterpreted as potentially the root cause of their issues, whereas in reality they are really symptoms of where they have been "poking the dog" and someone responds out of frustration/anger.

Once you really get to know BPD you see that a lot of the things that drew you to them in the first place were in fact the over the top nice side of BPD. Still BPD traits, just not toxic so without knowledge you dont flag it.