Part 2: I’m home after my holiday... he has moved out

[blackorchid]

Thanks RC. I Have been speaking to them for a few years. Read up on it as well. There’s no presence where I am but thankfully their email support has been amazing. I’m in a better place now because of it where I don’t blame myself.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Radcliff]

Great, I'm very glad to hear you've got support from that program as well!

You asked about how to make the shift to not having toxic people in your home.  For me the key was to prioritize relationships with healthy boundaries over maintaining the relationships at any cost.  As long as I wasn't willing to risk the relationship, I was unable to have boundaries, and the other person knew this, either consciously or unconsciously.  I'm not saying to throw the relationship under the bus, just the opposite, but it was important for me to not let fear of losing the relationship hold me back.  I realized that if I did my best to establish healthy boundaries, then I was actually doing everything I could to help the relationship, even if the other person might accuse me of ruining it.  They are the ones who decide how they respond.  I did this with two important relationships at roughly the same time.  One of them ended, and one of them shifted to a much healthier place after years of both of us doing a dysfunctional dance.

RC

[blackorchid]

Hmm that’s interesting. Ok something for me to work on. Thank you. I think I’m guilty of that with friends and then it gets to the stage where I look back and see how much I’ve done above and beyond for them and when I need something they’re not there. Then I’ve noticed as soon as I’m not readily available to them they cut me off. Something to definitely keep in mind. Thanks RC.

[Harri]

This thread is being locked as it has reached the maximum post limit.  Feel free to start a new thread.

Thank you.