Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 21, 2019, 01:17:15 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Harri, Once Removed, Scarlet Phoenix
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, FaithHopeLove, I Am Redeemed, Mutt, Only Human, Turkish
Ambassadors: Enabler, formflier, GaGrl, Longterm, Ozzie101, Swimmy55, zachira
  Help!   Groups   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Experts share their discoveries [video]
100
Caretaking - What is it all about?
Margalis Fjelstad, PhD
Blame - why we do it?
Brené Brown, PhD
Family dynamics matter.
Alan Fruzzetti, PhD
A perspective on BPD
Ivan Spielberg, PhD
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: *16 year old daughter tried to end her life twice  (Read 173 times)
Saltymom
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 2


« on: September 13, 2019, 11:24:51 PM »

I am new here. I have a 16 year old daughter with bpd. I am new to all of this and am struggling to discipline. She has tried to end her life twice and i am so scared that if i am not there for her 24hrs a day 7 days a week she will try it again.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2019, 11:49:28 PM by FaithHopeLove » Logged
Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
FaithHopeLove
Senior Ambassador
*
Online Online

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 1226



« Reply #1 on: September 13, 2019, 11:53:37 PM »

Hello Saltymom
Welcome to the group. You have come to the right place for information and support. I am so sorry for what you are going through with your daughter. My son has also made several suicide attempts. It is terrifying. You mention trying to discipline your daughter. Can you say more about that? What are your goals with her? How can we help?
Hugs
Faith
Logged

Hugs,
Faith
Saltymom
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 2


« Reply #2 on: September 14, 2019, 05:17:26 PM »

I feel like i cant say no. If i do she will fall into a dark space and attempt suicide gain. Or if she doesnt want to help around the house she will say she is too sad or depressed. Or grounding her for not going to school or taking away vehicle privileges. She says she need to be able to escape when she needs to. To go hang out with friends to get her mind off the sadness. I just feel helpless. I am afraid letting her do whatever she wants will backfire on me but if i try to steer her in the right direction it makes her get in her head and get more depressed.
Logged
FaithHopeLove
Senior Ambassador
*
Online Online

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 1226



« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2019, 08:05:47 PM »

Living under the constant threat of suicide is terrifying. I can see why it might be tempting to let your daughter do whatever she wants in hopes she will not try again. You are right that it could backfire though. Maybe this is a good time to set some healthy boundaries. Here is an article that really helped me to learn how to do that. Setting Healthy Boundaries Setting boundaries is not about ultimatums. It is about you being true to your own core values and deciding what behaviors you are and are not willing to tolerate in your home and choosing a course of action in the event those boundaries are violated. When interacting with a person with BPD your boundaries need to be very well chosen and very strong. Have a look and see what you think. Let me know if this information helps you. I wonder. Do you think your daughter may be using the threat of suicide to manipulate you?
Logged

Hugs,
Faith
livednlearned
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 10967



« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2019, 10:58:34 AM »

Does your daughter accept that she has BPD?

Even talking about suicide can be scary, much less attempting. Do you feel comfortable talking about what happened?

I am taking a class for family members whose loved ones are chronically suicidal and it surprises me how fiercely they insist on calling 911, to not try and manage it ourselves. These are people who were suicidal and have created a life worth living for themselves doing peer counseling.

24/7 care and surveillance is not sustainable and giving in can, according to people who have shared their expertise with me, actually lead to an accidental suicide. It's so confusing, knowing what to do. I'm glad you're here and willing to learn with us as we walk this path.

LnL  Virtual hug (click to insert in post)
Logged

It's a gift to exist, and with existence comes suffering. -- Stephen Colbert
Miserable Mom

*
Offline Offline

Person in your life: Child
Posts: 39


« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2019, 06:28:31 AM »

Welcome Saltymom! I understand your struggle in a very difficult situation. Before I had an alarm installed I was doing 2 hour bed checks and close to crash and burn myself. My daughter at 16, now 17, has eloped twice since the alarm into oncoming highway traffic. Not necessarily with the intent to end her life, but to escape in a state of rage/confusion. The latest incident resulted in my restraining her at an intersection to get her to safety at side of road and a take down until police arrived. The safety plan was in place and the alarm triggered and the 911 call was sent, yet Her, my son, the dog and myself were nearly killed. She involuntarily bit me while restrained and the police are charging it as domestic violence. The good news is I requested a new hospital for ER EMS transfer and was ready for the situation. She transferred to inpatient for 2 weeks and is now at day 3 of her first residential, with treatment mandated by the referral to juvinile. My second DCFS investigation in 6 months. Yet I feel blessed that she is in treatment prior to her 18th birthday. Keep reaching out for help! MM
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2019?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2020 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
AskingWhy
Bittlecat
Harri
Only Human
PeacefulMom
Radcliff
Skip
Teno
Ventak
wendydarling
Wicker Man
worn_out





Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2019, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!