You can absolutely create a WRAP with a T. Would SD be willing to do that?
This is my conundrum, PeaceMom. I started the thread over here because I'm the step mom, and given our blended family dynamics, I'm trying to figure out how to convey my concerns through H.
Would she do a WRAP with a T? I think so. But I can't call her T, and H has his own views on what's happening that differ from mine. He's her dad.
When I went to the class for those two days, it struck me that he is focused on what she's doing that's positive. I am focusing on the gaps. The gaps seem significant to me. Part of the problem, too, is that H deals with crisis all day long. So it's not like he doesn't understand crisis. How do you tell a very intelligent, super capable alpha male with three decades of crisis management that he has a blind spot when it comes to his kid?
The same kid who would like nothing better than to have me out of the picture? And the same kid who I spent three summers singling out for her odd behaviors? I am going into this with some mistakes hanging over my head. The more H turned down my volume, the louder I tried to speak. That's not a place with a ton of trust.
When I talked to my T, the same one who started ringing this bell, her feedback was to lay low for now because H's walls are up. Look for openings, and let things cool. He went to the class and we made a joint decision it wasn't quite the right fit. We now have resources and I am telling him what I'm reading, and he listens. I can get in about five paragraphs every third night or so and then we take a break and try to unwind.
Meanwhile, there is movement with S18 and getting him diagnosed for ASD. I don't discuss his issues as much here but he's a pretty big priority and I'm experiencing a version of what H is going through, where it's tough to allow someone else into this parent-child space when there has been trauma.
SD22 is an adult, she lives 5 hours from here, has a job, she is doing many pro-active things to take care of herself, she has two Ts and a psychiatrist, has a live-in BF, and her dad does do many positive things in supporting her. I can't lose sight of those positives, while also acknowledging that if this were someone else's child, H and I would be in full agreement that she needs a full work up and a re-diagnosis, not to mention a WRAP.
I'm regrouping with SD22, and trying to get S18 up and launched, sorting out his sensitive issues. My plan for now is to see what happens with us moving. If we do, I know there will be a crisis. H is pushing for the move, so if this gets serious, then I'm going to insist we have a safety plan in place before we announce the move. That's all I've got for now
