Gaslighting

[sam64]

If I 'call' my husband (of 20 years) on strange/inappropriate behaviour, he says 'that's in your head' or 'you think that happened, it didn't' - I recently learnt that this is 'gaslighting' (abusive) as a response. What do I do?

 

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[once removed]

hi sam64 and

can you give us a recent example? we can walk you through it.

[theuproar]

Following this thread.  I get constantly, constantly gaslighted and I would like some better tools in dealing with it. 

I have gotten much better about setting boundaries, but I still often over-react and cry or defend myself, which just makes things escalate.  The injustice of it all just seems too egregious to let go of.

[sam64]

Recent example: I said, apropos a sarcastic remark, 'That wasn't very nice' and he replied 'It was perfectly 'nice'. You INTERPRETED it as not very nice'.  (accompanied by eye-rolling to our son)...

[once removed]

and in that situation, how would you normally respond?

the more we know, the more back and forth we have, the more we can help.