Confused

[rubytoos]

Hi there!

My SO and I have been together for a long time and I chalked up all of our relationship problems to anger management issues but after getting married and moving in together this past year, our arguments and quality of life have significantly devolved. I've been feeling all sorts of emotions as I've recently realized he displays many BPD tendencies and many of his behaviors have begun to make sense. As I've started to read a few books on BPD, I've been feeling more removed and hopeless that we will be able to make it work. We recently started going to therapy together and although there are days that I feel more hopeful and things have been better, I have been in a very murky headspace for some time. I have been questioning everything and I know from the resources that I just need to focus on myself and what I can control but I frankly don't know what to feel and what to do with myself.

I'm new to the site and was wondering how folks here got clarity and knew how to decide to stay or go.
:hi:Thanks!

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

So sorry your relationship quality is going down.  Yet I'm glad you have found a support group that can help you understand this and many times can help you find a better quality of life.

What books have you read so far?

Can you describe a couple of the most bothersome behaviors/arguments?

Let me guess, you probably have some repetitive issues that just won't be solved...right?  

To you question about how to gain clarity.  We're going to help you understand the dynamic and that most likely it has little to do with you.  We're also going to teach you about self care.

Come back and post often.

Looking forward to reading your responses.

Best,

FF