BPD EX GF - Best Friend Convinced Her

[justahurtguy]

My ex gf is undiagnosed BPD.  But it's clear she has it.

She broke up with me and had a replacement less than 30 days later.  She was "second guessing" her decision and came back to me but her best friend convinced her to stay away and set her up with a new guy.

The same best friend actually tried sleeping with me one evening and I have proof. 

I was going to enlist a mutual friend to tell my ex gf about it so it ruins her friendship with her best friend and messes up the demographics of hanging out with the new BF.

How will my BPD ex respond knowing her best friend tried sleeping with her boyfriend?  Will she paint her black?  That's my goal.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[No-One]

. . .The same best friend actually tried sleeping with me one evening and I have proof.  I was going to enlist a mutual friend to tell my ex gf about it so it ruins her friendship with her best friend and messes up the demographics of hanging out with the new BF.

How will my BPD ex respond knowing her best friend tried sleeping with her boyfriend?  Will she paint her black?  That's my goal.

I can understand that you are hurt, but vindictive actions are NOT productive.

People who are serious about an on-going relationship with someone with BPD need to  learn & exhibit emotional intelligence.

Sounds like you have anger issues?  Perhaps you like drama?  This could be a good opportunity to look within and work on yourself.  Focus on learning some emotionally intelligent communication skills that you can find on this website.  If she discards the other guy, and gets back in touch with you, you will be better equipped to resume a relationship with her (if that is what you want).

[Harri]

Hi hurtguy.

Do you want to have a chance of getting back together with your ex and you plan is an attempt to make that happen?

I do not see things playing out that way to be honest.

Let's back up a bit and talk about what you can do to try to make things better at your end.  It sounds like there was a lot of struggling in the relationship for the both of you.  What would you say your biggest struggle was?