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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: 3 weeks NC Today --- Everyday is a battle  (Read 54 times)
Pytagoras
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 157



« on: October 06, 2019, 05:37:01 AM »

I manage to get to 3 Weeks NC today.

In the last two days, i've manage to concentrate more in me and my projects. I'm also in the gym, for 3 weeks now. I lost a lot of weight and now i'm much better. I was a fit guy in the beggining of our relationship, and i've lost much of it. In the last year, i recovered some of my shape, but i've lost it all this summer.

I spend much time alone. I work, clean the house, read, work on my website, see series, movies, documentaries. Every day i do the same. I speak to friends, but not much. I feel i need to isolate my self a little bit in this phase.

A few days ago, a friend of ours came and tell me that my ex called him 5 am, to ask for a lift to her and her bf. I became nervous and ask him not to tell me anything from her anymore.

In the gym i bumped with her former best female friend. In the supermarket i bumped with a friend couple of ours.

And yesterday her mother called. It's strange that she called me. I didn't answered the phone, and i am in doubt if i sent her a text msg. Maybe it's rude if i dont respond. She never done anything wrong to me. What do you think?

If she called, it's because something's wrong. Or, my ex asked her to, to see how am i doing. I am afraid of being nervous again. Every new information i have of her makes me nervous. Anxiety !!

Another friend of mine said that before, she had "in a relation with XXXX" and now she just have "in a relationship".

Idk.

I think that she is so unstable that her honeymoon / idealize period are very short.

Of course i miss a part of her, a part of our relationship. Every night i dream with her. Every morning she is the first tought i have. Every day is a battle. I am better now, but i know i am still fragile, and any shake from abroad can affect me.

My chest still feels heavy. The way i feel my lungs and my heart tells my that i am still grieving. Sometimes I sigh a lot.

I am just trying to protect my self, going low profile, just doing my day-to-day stuff and let time passes, to get stronger every day...
« Last Edit: October 06, 2019, 05:43:52 AM by Pytagoras » Logged
gizmocasci
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 52


« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2019, 06:31:57 AM »


If she called, it's because something's wrong. Or, my ex asked her to, to see how am i doing. I am afraid of being nervous again. Every new information i have of her makes me nervous. Anxiety !!


congrats on making it 3 weeks, its no easy feat. i'm at 8 and i still find myself waking up to thoughts of her.

as for your above comment, i know the feeling. everytime i hear her name, or some off-handed comment, anxiety gets triggered. i do some door-dashing on the side, and once in a while drive through her home town, my anxiety gets triggered there as well. being human is a funny thing ain't it?

hang in there and keep keeping yourself busy. concentrate on the things that bring you get great joy. write, get a good nights sleep, eat healthy, stay away from anything excessive that is bad for you. honor any and all feelings that you have. it's ok to miss them, it's ok to hate them, it's ok to love them, it's ok to still think about them. let the feelings come up, let the feelings move on.

best of luck

r

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