How to not make situation worse?

[Timberwolf]

     I met someone  during a  low point in my life. I was isolated and friendless, and had no family. We met online and, for the next six months talked everyday. I knew the person had BPD but they seemed  nice and I happily accepted  an invitation to fly out and spend my birthday with them.
      I became this person's favorite person  That quickly changed after I arrived and an old FP re-entered the picture. This was an ex and our relationship was just platonic. Needless to say it was like a switch had  flipped and the person went from being warm and loving to distant  and ignored  me while they spent time with this other person.  Some conflict ensued  and I ended up being painted black, and asked to leave two days early. Because I could not due to the cost of changing the plane ticket my BPD  became angry and belligerent and I had to find my own way back to the airport which was very expensive.
      I made a few mistakes myself for one I lied about my age which I know was not OK and then cancelled an offer of help because of how hurt I was . I contacted them a few days after And offered a portion of the money which they accepted  then  blocked me everywhere. I found out they called my parents at this time and stayed in touch with them over the next few months.  I was never told anything about this only that the person would call and ask for money.
      Fast forward a few months We bumped into each other  on another  forum, and  things were friendly at first;  but  he was very adamant  he  could not talk outside the  forum which made discussing anything  impossible. I should have left this place immediately but did not, I suppose because I missed the person so much and felt angry because . I had already been kicked off of another  forum  because of him.   So I remained and things went downhill from there . But sometimes he could be nice, and at one  point  even suggested he wanted me to call her so I sent  a text asking if it was OK. I got no response and he  again called my family saying he  was concerned  but would not speak to me directly .  I finally gave  up and said I would leave and now he’s  saying he  tried for months  hoping I  would come around and it hurt him deeply (which I did not know) And  now it was too late his  life and moved on and he did not need me for anything. He also said because I lied he could not trust me .
      I am devastated as I mourned this  loss for months and was hoping we could at least talk. I forgave his  smear campaign and at least wanted the chance to apologize. He  refused but continues to stay in touch with my mother who talks trash with him  about me . Is there anything I can do to fix this, or at the very least let go kindly and with love ? My heart is hurting and I don’t want to stay split black forever

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Timberwolf]

Anyone ?

[once removed]

     I met someone  during a  low point in my life. I was isolated and friendless, and had no family. We met online and, for the next six months talked everyday.

i think tons of us can relate to this.

for the vast majority of us, our bpd loved one came along at a vulnerable point in our lives.

she wasnt bpd (though she has her share of issues), but i met a girl online once when i was feeling pretty alone. she was gorgeous. and when she became aware that i was interested, we started talking all day long, for months. it can be an intense kind of thing, something to invest strongly in, and something that really fills that sense of isolation or loneliness. we had a falling out, and i had a really hard time losing it. it sounds like this has been hard on you too.

Needless to say it was like a switch had  flipped and the person went from being warm and loving to distant  and ignored  me while they spent time with this other person.

is it safe to say you struggled with losing some of that attention?

Some conflict ensued

what happened, specifically?

I made a few mistakes myself for one I lied about my age

what prompted you to do this? did it occur before or after you met?