Treatment for depression, but BPD still exists

[Bunsen48]

So, it's been several months since I first got help here and with a counselor for my Wife's undiagnosed BPD with a side of severe anxiety and depression. My wife is being treated for depression. The meds seem to be helping with the severe mood swings and rages. Thankfully no rages since February. However, BPD still exists. and my children and I are still feeling the effects of this horrible disease.

We still have the mood swings, forgetting important information, claiming something different than what actually happened, accusing us of doing something, projecting her emotions on us then being angry about it, and wee still have the good child and bad child problem.

So now, my youngest daughter (the bad child) is in counseling. I'm hoping she can learn some tools to help get through this stage of her life while living with a BPD mother.

See, I can't divorce her until after the kids are out of school, because I won't be able to protect my kids if I do that. But I feel like I'm living a lie. How do you live with yourself. I love my wife, but I hate this disease. And I can't get over it when she treats me or my kids badly. I guess I should be happy that for at least a few months the rages have been gone. Is there a good resource for long lasting relationships with BPD wives? Now that I know the issues, and the tools I need to get through rages, how do I deal with the day-yo-day abuse?

Thanks in advance. Peace be with you all.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Stillhopeful4]

Hi Bunsen48,

Many of us here know exactly what you are going through.  I can relate especially to the good kids/ bad kid part.

Have you checked out the tools section here on this site?
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=36.0

I started at the top and worked my way down.  I have found this information to be very helpful.  This is a process to learn these things and be able to put them to use in situations with our BPD loved ones.

Best of luck to you,
SH4