Lack of respect, just desperate for attention, or both after 5 months NC?

[hmf2234]

So after 5 months of NC(and at least one OR more attempts by her to contact me each month since Last contact), she decides to text me on facebook messenger from her alternate "work account". This is the first time she is attempting to get in touch with me via "text message" form, as all the times before this were phone calls which I have ignored.

I have not accepted her message request so she has no idea that I have seen and read the message that stated "Hi, Do you have pics from Poland on your phone currently?"

We haven't spoke in 5 whole months, no HI, no How are you... nothing like that to break the ice so to speak... she just comes at me with this? like the balls of that!

In my previous post I spoke on how I found out she is pregnant. I think she just wants to manipulate me into finally reaching out to her so she can brag about how she's happy and already starting a family... just rub it all in my face. She assumes I have no clue since she has me blocked on her personal social media accounts. I'm thinking she just wants to see me hurt and see me upset about the news.

Needless to say I continue to ignore her. That h-o-o-ver attempt just shows absolute lack of respect on her part, in my opinion. Things ended the way they did with all the lies the manipulations... and she can just ever so nonchalantly ask for pictures, that I know she has on her social media and her phone as well,  like its no big deal. This chick has some balls on her for sure.

[Rev]

We haven't spoke in 5 whole months, no HI, no How are you... nothing like that to break the ice so to speak... she just comes at me with this? like the balls of that!

Needless to say I continue to ignore her. That h-o-o-ver attempt just shows absolute lack of respect on her part, in my opinion.

You give her too much credit by assuming she knows how to be respectful.  Desperation is more like it. My guess, something triggered her, she was out of supply, she went back.  Bet you bottom dollar that reaching out to you came with waves and waves of shame.  (At least that's the way I saw it when my BPDex reached out to me under similar fashion)

Rev

[Turkish]

Needless to say I continue to ignore her.

It sounds like you know what to do, yes?

In our house, my ex wrote in her journal thanking God for me (father of our kids) and her beau. She left it on the couch and I read it. I'm sure she was sincere, though messed up by my opinion.

The hardest thing about these relationships is realizing how differently our exes view them. 

[Pytagoras]

wow hmf2234,

That's incredible (or not). Yes, i think it's obvious that she wants something else besides the photos.

[Rev]

The hardest thing about these relationships is realizing how differently our exes view them. 

Could not have said it better.

Rev

[dt9000]

It could be a complete lack of self awareness. I sat across the table from my BPDex at a custody mediation a few weeks ago where she spent 30 minutes non-stop berating me and telling the mediator how bad of a husband and father I was. She was fabricating unbelievable stories and kept referring to me as an abuser. My attorney said he never saw anyone do that, to that extreme, in 30 years of practice. Then later that day she sends me an innocent text about how to reset something on her car, as if the crazy mediation session never happened.

Another time she texted me at 3:00AM with a link to an online coupon. I responded and said 'It's 3:00AM, leave me alone' and her reply was like 'oh, I didn't realize it was so late' then continued to text me (which I ignored). Total absence of self awareness.

[hmf2234]

... She was fabricating unbelievable stories and kept referring to me as an abuser...Then later that day she sends me an innocent text about how to reset something on her car, as if the crazy mediation session never happened.

... Total absence of self awareness.

Back in April, when we were still in touch almost on a daily basis, she did something similar. At that point we were broken up for about 6 months already but "we were working on things". Then I found out she was getting pretty serious with someone else while she lied about it the entire time. I decided to cut her off and went about 2 weeks without contact at the time, the whole time she was blowing up my phone daily until I eventually caved in and picked up.

When I picked up she brought up how we should hang out and "mend our bond" as if 2 weeks prior she didn't have sexual intercourse with some random guy she was having and emotional fling with. Like if that never happened. I was just supposed to forget she invited me to her bday, canceled on me last second, claimed she had to work, but then proceeded to get a hotel room with this guy on the night of her bday. Mind boggling

[Rev]

My attorney said he never saw anyone do that, to that extreme, in 30 years of practice. Total absence of self awareness.

I didn't realize we were married to the same person ... ... then again, my attorney doesn't have 30 years experience. He used to be a prison chaplain. Same difference, I guess.  I still shake my head at the fabricated stories...

[hmf2234]

wow hmf2234,

That's incredible (or not). Yes, i think it's obvious that she wants something else besides the photos.

Well yea, I think its just attention and the fact that she wants to rub her pregnancy and "happiness" in my face so she can enjoy me being hurt. It gives them power in a sick way I think.

She seems like she really wants me to know she's already pregnant so soon into her new relationship to prove how "lovable" she really is. I noticed She has finally unblocked me on all her social media accounts after having me blocked for 7 months and keeping everything a secret from me. Now she can't wait for me to find out (I'm assuming she doesn't know I'm aware yet since we haven't spoke in 6 months.)

I do have a question, do women with BPD usually trap guys with the pregnancy card? Is that a common thing?

[Rev]

I do have a question, do women with BPD usually trap guys with the pregnancy card? Is that a common thing?

They'll trap you where they think you are most emotionally weak. So yea, I've read about that.

Rev

[SinisterComplex]

I don't think I would attribute this to just BPD women. I cannot go that far. I would say that is more a woman thing. If I go way back into time my high school sweetheart tried to pull the I think I am pregnant card on me after we broke up for the last time and her and I did have a miscarriage between us (I got her pregnant the first time we ever had sex).

Anyway, the point is...I know how tempting and easy it is to blame a lot of these behaviors on BPD, but this is one I would chalk up to more common behavior for some women regardless of BPD being present or not.

Cheers!