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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: I need support  (Read 345 times)
Unsure101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 71


« on: November 14, 2019, 01:45:23 AM »

This is a continuation of this thread here

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339597.0

I feel like I've lost myself, she's chasing another guy , and I feel like I'm being replaced, were still living together atm but she's currently thinking he's the best thing ever, and I can see her leaving me.

This is exactly how the relationship began, she was in a relationship just like this one now, and she was messaging  me, then she left him for me, now she's doing the same.

I'm on the fence asking her to leave, if she wants to move into the spare bedroom, I might just do that, as I've sort of already promised it to another person, who's meant to be moving in next month.

I just feel like this has been a complete joke, I've literally bent over backwards these last few years, did everything round the house, been as accomodating as I could be, even down to her massive lows / suicide attempts .

She never made time for me, it upsets me, she never made time for me, I gave up my friends , used to go out every week, when we got together, I stopped that instantly.

I know Facebook is just a website, but she'd never like photos, she'd never post photos of us together, early on in the relationship, she'd not let me tag her in things.

I'm just hurting. Now she wants to talk again. I'm just at a loss.

I tried so hard to make this work, I'd wanted it to work so much.

She got us a new pet a few months back too.


Now it's looking increasingly likely she's going to run off with someone else.


Has anyone ever been in this situation ?

Will she actually come to her senses ? Or realistically is this doomed, and even if she comes back to me , this pattern will continue?
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This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

Unsure101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 71


« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2019, 12:30:31 PM »

Well we had a talk the other night, she said she was interested in another guy but she doesn't know what to do, she just said her heads a mess.

I told her, well it looks like your minds made up, and there's nothing I can do to change things.

But she just replied saying I didn't say that ?

I was pretty blunt , I said if you're spending time with other guys, don't be surprised, if I start seeing other girls. I also told her why are you telling me, I'm not exactly going to give you my blessing if you turned round to me and said we're in a relationship. But then, she started backtracking and getting a little defensive , saying it may not end up like that, and they probably won't actually get together?

So I'm not really sure what exactly she wants ?

Anyway , we were watching a movie in bed together the other night and ended up fooling around...

But all the time when we're out , she reminds me were not actually together, like I playfully touched her ass the other day , and she just went this isn't your ass anymore ... But the other night she instigated the fooling about .

It sort of feels like I've slipped into a surreal world ?
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