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Author Topic: Unsure of anything  (Read 456 times)
Carguy
****
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 325


« on: November 18, 2019, 10:35:22 PM »

Well it's been a while since I have been on here but I'm back. My ex-BPD and the new boyfriend didn't work out and we started talking again and became friends but then it became intimate again and then the last several weeks have been pushed away and was told weeks ago that we were just friends. Then the pushing got worse.

She would stay out my house and lay next to me in bed but there would be no contact and if I reached over to touch her she would pull away. This isn't the first time this has happened.

 We would talk and she would ask me if I thought we were good for each other. I would tell her that I think we learn a lot from each other. L

ast weekend I stop by Walmart where she works and chatted with her for a bit. Her truck that was on my property and she moved to her friends business last spring when we were apart she needed to move back to my property because her friends are selling the business. Several weeks ago we were going to do it and she was busy with homework. And then a week or two later she was pushing me away and told me she would get somebody else to help her. I asked her if she still wanted to put it up my place and she said she did but she didn't want to take me over there to get the truck and take it back to my place because how would that look?

Last Friday she asked if we could go get her truck and I said yes. She didn't respond to my good morning text Saturday morning so I didn't say anything and then Sunday I asked her if she still want to get it and she said yes.

We picked it up with my company's tow truck and the whole time I could tell something was up because she was quiet and withdrawn again. I asked her a couple of times if she was okay and she said she was good. I told her okay and went home. The next morning before work I stop by to double check on her and told her I was still concerned because it seemed something was wrong. She got upset because I left I didn't probe any further but then she kept reminding herself that I did ask if she was okay. Then she was all upset and blaming me that she was going to go to work all upset that day. I asked her if we could talk later and she said she had to run errands at lunch and couldn't talk.

I went by her place at lunch and she was still there so I stopped by to apologize for not staying Sunday and when I pulled in she was in her vehicle. I walked over and I guess she didn't see me and it startled her when I was standing right there and she rolled down her window and quite rudely told me she I was busy and couldn't talk. When I got back to work she text me about how she told me that morning that she had to run errands and that I didn't respect her boundaries and she needed space and feel like she is suffocating and so on. I told her I was sorry and I just wanted to stop by and tell her sorry and I would leave her alone.

Wednesday we had the second of three relationship classes that we signed up for and I sent her a message that I wasn't sure if she was still planning on going but it was a reminder and she text back and said she was. She sat next to me in the class again and asked how work was going. I told her fine and asked how her work was going and she said busy. We didn't talk the rest of the class and afterwards I got up and was chatting to a friend as she sat at the table writing stuff down. I walked over by the door and she got up and walked past me out the door and kept walking. I left behind her and in the parking lot she was parked next to me I told her to have a good night (she had to go back to work) and I don't know if she didn't hear me or was ignoring me but it really seemed to me that she was upset and I'm assuming because I didn't talk to her much in the class.

I wasn't sure if I should because how upset she got up me Monday. Thursday morning I asked if I could stop by before work and if we could talk and she text me back and said "not a good time." I just told her okay. Friday at lunch I stopped by Walmart to get something and say hi to her and see how she was doing. She was waiting on someone and I was just considering finding what I needed and leaving but the lady asked her if she needed to wait on me and she told the lady that I was just there to visit. This seemed to me like it was okay to visit for a minute so I hung out and waited. After she got done waiting on this lady 20 or so minutes later and could talk to me I told her I needed some labels and she just coldly point me in the direction told me a couple of isles down. I was thinking she would walk with me so I could ask how she was doing but she did not. After I found them I came back and told her I found them and she told me I could have just asked her where they are at and scolded me for standing there and making her and the lady feel uncomfortable and how she was working and it was not okay to do that and I was violating her boundaries and she told me me she needed space. I told her I did not know how long she needed space whether it be a few days a week or what and she just kept on Raging at me and I told her I was sorry I did not want her to feel uncomfortable and finally I just kept walking and left.

 I asked her that night if she could help me move her truck on my property and it wasn't until Saturday afternoon she just text back and said she couldn't this weekend so I told her to let me know when she could. I haven't talked to her since.

I went in Walmart tonight to buy a hanging light for my shop and walked back avoiding the department she works in and as I was getting it I seen her walking towards the area I was at so I looked down at the light I was thinking of buying and I looked up a few seconds later I couldn't see her so I'm assuming she might have ducked down an aisle or something. I went up and paid for it and as I was leaving I turned around and seen her back there a ways behind me pushing a shopping cart to the service department in the front of the store. I went around the corner and waited until she was gone because I needed to walk back and talk to a guy that has a booth there. As I was talking to him I noticed her walk through the self-checkout area I think to see what I was doing and then disappear again. Honestly I'm just trying to avoid her space when I have to go into Walmart. Being a small-town there are not very many places to shop.

We have one more relationship class this Wednesday and I plan on going because it is a lot of good information. The first class we walked in together and she wanted to sit on the front row so she could hear and see better. The next time I sat in the same spot we did before and she came and sat next to me and told me she was glad I sat there on the front again because that's where she wants to sit. My counselor told me this time to get there early and set in a different area perhaps on the next row. I believe I will do this and if she sits next to me that will be fine and if she tries to make small talk I will Chit Chat but I don't think I should go out of my way right now. The way she made me feel in Walmart the other day really hurt.
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Carguy
****
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 325


« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2019, 09:58:50 AM »

Update: Monday I went into Walmart to buy a light for my shop and tried to avoid her area but seen her walking towards the area I was in and i just went about my business. I later seen her by the checkout as she was taking some stuff to customer service and avoided contact. As I was talking to somebody I seen her walk through self-checkout and a minute later when I looked she was gone so I think she was checking to see what I was up to. I'm sure she is probably thinking I was spying on her but I was just trying to buy a light and leave and stay out of her space.

Today is our class and I text her and told her that this was just a reminder that the class was tonight if she still wanted to go. I seen on my end that she had read the text message but no response so I am getting the silent treatment. What would be the best way to handle this? My plan is to still give her space and not text but if she does show up tonight what would be the best thing to do? Stay completely away or ask how she is. If she sets by me or if she does not sit by me or if she doesn't show up what kind of advice would you give?
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