The holidays

[Our abuse recovery guide]

I’m new here. Just looking for people that understand. I’ve been going to Alanon, but the thing is...mom isn’t JUST an alcoholic. Her BPD adds a whole other level of complexity.

The holidays are usually bad times for her/us. This holiday...listening to her, I just want to cry it’s so sad. She’s unable to have healthy conversations, constantly defensive or comes off just crazy. She sounds like a ten year old.

I don’t know how to help her. The alcoholism really makes her life even more inmanageable, but her inability to really see things the way they really are, I just don’t see how things will ever get better.

I’m just venting. But also if there is anyone out there that can give any advice of how to get through to her and help her, I’d love to hear your story.

[Sacdzine]

I’m new here. Just looking for people that understand. I’ve been going to Alanon, but the thing is...mom isn’t JUST an alcoholic. Her BPD adds a whole other level of complexity.

The holidays are usually bad times for her/us. This holiday...listening to her, I just want to cry it’s so sad. She’s unable to have healthy conversations, constantly defensive or comes off just crazy. She sounds like a ten year old.

I don’t know how to help her. The alcoholism really makes her life even more inmanageable, but her inability to really see things the way they really are, I just don’t see how things will ever get better.

I’m just venting. But also if there is anyone out there that can give any advice of how to get through to her and help her, I’d love to hear your story.

[pursuingJoy]

Sacdzine, I'm so sorry yesterday was a rough day.  

The holidays are usually bad times for her/us. This holiday...listening to her, I just want to cry it’s so sad. She’s unable to have healthy conversations, constantly defensive or comes off just crazy. She sounds like a ten year old.

I don’t know how to help her. The alcoholism really makes her life even more inmanageable, but her inability to really see things the way they really are, I just don’t see how things will ever get better.

I can definitely see the same behaviors in my MIL...the childlike behavior that gets worse with alcohol, and a general inability to connect with reality. I dread holidays, it just exacerbates everything, including my own expectations. We are seeing her today and my stomach is already I knots.

I know it breaks your heart. What kind of helping do you want to do? Has she ever sought treatment for alcohol abuse?

pj