I fell in love with my friend who turned out to have BPD

[Kura]

Hey all, so about a year ago, I had been working with my friend.. She was dating this guy and I didn’t really know too much about her outside of work. But we always got along great and she was so charming and hot. Eventually things went bad between her and her boyfriend, so she started coming onto me, saying that she wished I was her boyfriend and started the whole mirroring and idealization phase. Before we started our “relationship”, she told me I should look elsewhere because she has a tendency of being a bad person and hurting people.

I didn’t know what to make of what she said, but I assured her I cared about her for who she was. She always told me I was so perfect and that she’d be all over me. She completely swayed me off my feet and never could I do anything wrong. She was still with her boyfriend when she started talking dirty to me, and one night, she told me that she had broken up with him, and came over and spent the night with me. The next morning I found out that she hadn’t really broken up with him, and that she was upset because her boyfriend was now ignoring her, for obvious reasons. I was very hurt by this.

As time went on, he had her leave his place, and things went from bad to worse. She started talking to me whenever she needed me, telling me how amazing I was and how she wanted to date me, and then when she started talking to other guys, she told me to leave. She would go back and forth between loving and hating me, even blaming me for her relationship with her ex failing. She would call me by his name, and say he understood her. I later found out that he encouraged her to cheat in there relationship and that he was into cuckolding, and others BDSM with her and she “enjoyed” that kinda of sexual behavior. Apparently she “needed” rape fantasies in order to help her cope with past trauma. She would tell me she wanted sex with me, then tell me we couldn’t do it because I was too emotional and sensitive.

She had two of her guy friends come over one night after I left her apartment and gangbang her and tie her up and sent me videos and pictures over Snapchat. I could hear her begging for me to help her. I was disgusted and was scared because I didn’t know what was happening. She told me that night that we just needed to go our separate ways, as she repeatedly said that when she didn’t need me anymore. The next morning I blocked her on all social media and she was upset by this, and told me to come over and we could talk about what happened. I refused and she said she would send people over to “pick me up” if I didn’t come over which scared me so I reluctantly went. She talked to me and thought that what happened was funny and couldn’t understand why I was so upset over it.

She said it was something she needed and that they shouldn’t have sent that and that I was in pain because I didn’t listen to her when she said she would only bring me pain. She cheated on me, used me several times and I accepted it. I lost myself. She was talking to several men the entire time, and constantly told me I was too emotional when I would cry because of the way she treated me. She would never have sex with me, unless she could call me by her ex’s name, because she was into humiliation sex.

She told me that if I gossiped or told anyone about what happens she could send people after me or she would start a smear campaign. She said she had many many guys who would do things for her since they all had sex with her. She said she knew gangsters and dangerous men, whom she had dated and had sex with, and even helped torture people with because she said she got off on that kinda stuff. I was terrified and agreed. I took the blame and felt that everything was my fault. I later found out she got fired from the job for trying to go after the company through a state investigation for stupid reasons. The friends she typically kept close were Narcissists, and she blocked me on everything.

I became obsessed with her and tried reaching out to her to get her to understand what she did to me, but it usually ended up in futility. She eventually got back with her ex and they have been together for a year now. She said he knew how to handle her and that she would be getting help for her disorder, because she wanted to change for him, a man who became her Daddy in a DDlg. She apologized when I sent her a text after they got back together saying she never meant to hurt me, although I don’t know whether to believe her or not. To this day I’m scared of going back to the city where she is, and hate that she is living her life being happy and having all sorts of sex and what not while I’m struggling with PTSD. I feel like bad people truly do get ahead in life. Will she remain with him forever? Can she truly get better? Do I even want her back?

[SinisterComplex]

Kura, wow...she is a real piece of work. So let me get straight to the point...hell no you should never want her back. The unfortunate reality is that she preyed upon you. I do not say this to be hurtful, but you did not mean anything to this woman. To her you were an object, possession she controlled, a toy if you will. She does not care about you and sadly it was all fake. So grab a can of the magic spray called B to the itch BE GONE and spray it all around the air in front of you.

Does it hurt...yes you are damn right it does. However, you are a good person who deserves better.

Be happy you do not have to deal with that sh*t show. Seek out better people. Most importantly...learn to love yourself more and have respect for yourself. You did not deserve this. You deserve better. However, the most important area of opportunity that I see for you is to develop stronger boundaries. This whole situation should definitely have taught you what you don't want. Learn to not take sh*t from anyone who doesn't respect you and as I have made popular in these parts...you tell them to go kick rocks without hesitation. Learn to view yourself as having high value and come from a place of power. Think in abundance, not scarcity.

And seriously...don't believe for one second she will get ahead in life. No people like that never get ahead...they stay stuck in neutral. You have the opportunity to grow and evolve and become a better, stronger version of YOU!

I know you have a lot of healing to do and this process will take a while, but you will get through it and you will be ok. Trust the process.

I truly wish you the best fortune and luck moving forward.

Cheers!

-SC-
 

[once removed]

To this day I’m scared of going back to the city where she is, and hate that she is living her life being happy and having all sorts of sex and what not while I’m struggling with PTSD.

wow.

with threats like that, its no wonder.

how are you holding up, Kura? how long has it been since the last time you spoke?

[Kura]

Yeah I’m suffering from trauma. I can’t get those thoughts out of my head. She was able to give advice sometimes and sometimes it seemed that she was trying to push me away for my own good. She has Bachelors in Social work and I feel like she is high functioning enough to get ahead of me in life. She said she was going to get help, but I don’t know if that’s all true. I already had a low self esteem to begin with. Now it’s worse. She seems happy with that guy, and can use her sexuality to do pretty much whatever it seems.

[Forgiveness]

Hi Kura,

She is probably not happy, but even if she were, this does not mean anything for your happiness.

She is like a pile of cocaine. Right now, you are an addict. It's OK, we all are. The important thing to think about is why did I get addicted? Was I craving all this attention and praise? What was the insecurity that needed to be filled?  Everyone likes attention and praise, but some people crave it more than others. Crave it so much that they ignore red flags in order to get it.

What was happening in your life before you met her?

[SinisterComplex]

Do not compare yourself with her. That is a foolish trap. Only worry about YOU. Next, people who have to use sexuality or the superficial to get ahead are frauds essentially. It is a put on. Underneath that veneer is insecurity and a true lack of self-esteem. Sexuality is used as a weapon and a manipulative tool.

Who cares if she is happy with that guy. That will fail too. I understand how you feel now, but man you will win in the end. Believe that. She is putting on an act because she is incapable of dealing with her internal struggle. That is the disorder. She is an actress performing on a stage.

Worry about taking care of you now. You do not need that kind of chaos and drama in your life.

Keep posting and venting as much as you need to. This board is a great resource. I promise in time you will get better and you will learn to attract better people. Just learn from this ordeal.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[Kura]

Forgiveness- my life beforehand I made several mistakes and I have always struggled with anxiety and depression. Especially having a low self confidence. I eventually started making a good reputation for myself until she came around, and then I lost a few friends because I started talking about her too much and they didn’t believe my crazy stories about her, which I guess I can’t say I blame them.

I find myself constantly comparing myself to her and the guys she wanted. She told me she was practically using the guy she’s with now and that she didn’t know if she’d be with him after therapy, which I’m assuming she might be in DBT if she truly went to therapy like she said she wanted to. She said she wanted to change for the man she got back with. Although she said that she was someone who wasn’t a good person and couldn’t truly love. Nothing she really did or said made sense. I find myself worried I won’t find anyone attractive who’s sane or at least I can share intimacy with. I still can’t get the images of her being bound and gagged our of my head, or why she allowed them to send me that stuff in the first place. And the fact that she said she used to act as a “lure” in gangs and have sex with gangsters in the same room where people were getting tortured. She said sadism and masochism got her going. At the beginning of the relationships she said she was only vanilla. Which was a lie. It makes me wonder how someone like that has a decent job in the social services field. She got fired from the job we worked at though. She said she wanted to change, but I don’t know if she can. Or what would really happen if she went to DBT.

Thanks for all the advice

[Kura]

Do you think it was a lie when she said she wanted to get help? And what will happen to her if she is actually able to get help? Will she come back and apologize? I actually sent her an apology text a few months ago because I believed I was at fault yet I think I secretly just wanted to hear from her. It’s an addiction.

[SinisterComplex]

Honestly, who knows...bpd is quite the quagmire. I will agree that it is an addiction though. To offer a different perspective here...gaslighting is one thing. However, its almost in this scenario as if the technique of fractionation was indirectly used (a very powerful technique of manipulation albeit subconsciously and and unintentionally since the bpd person using it is probably not aware what the technique and process actually is...it just comes natural to them) which would explain a lot here.

I am not going to judge you and I understand what you are going through. I wouldn't hold my breath on actual apology. Do not apologize to her again though. You my friend have been wronged here so stand your ground.

Now what you do is entirely up to you. I wish you the best.

Cheers and take care!

-SC-

[Kura]

What do you make of her sadistic nature? She said she was an emotional sadist and physical masochist. I actually am a highly emotional empath. I almost feel like she sadistically did everything to me because she knew I was easily manipulated and she could get off on it. She hung out with people who were sadistic and her boyfriend was apparently emotionally masochistic. Which made them a match made in heave, or hell is what it sounds like to me.

Do sadistic people change? The tactics she used, threatening me saying she had men everywhere who could come after me. I don’t know whether the threats were genuine or not. How do you beat a sadist?

[Kura]

And actually after I did text her last year in December being upset when I found out she was back with her ex, she did say that she was sorry and that she truly never meant to hurt me. She said that I needed to get help because she heard what I was going through and that she was concerned. She said this when she got back with her boyfriend which seemed to be something she wanted for a few months. Considering she talked about him nonstop with me. Should I have just accepted the apology?
It’s hard for my to imagine that after everything she did, which I’m pretty sure she deliberately tried to hurt me several times, she would just apologize and genuinely feel remorse.

[Forgiveness]

Do sadistic people change? The tactics she used, threatening me saying she had men everywhere who could come after me.

Most people don't change unless they really, really want to and then it takes years. I would ignore the part about men everywhere. You are safe if you just ignore.

How do you beat a sadist?

This is the wrong question. A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect. Nobody beats anybody. If you are looking for break-up revenge, you can't get it. Even if you could, it would not fulfill you. The only way you can be fulfilled is to find meaning in your life outside of your addiction to her. Think of her as a drug. You have to go through withdrawal and remove the drug from your life. It is painful but temporary. You can not soothe this pain by going back to the drug.

[Kura]

Yeah, I keep thinking sadistic and masochistic thoughts ever since being with her. You’re right, it’s like a drug. Part of me hopes she doesn’t get better, although she said she wanted to. I guess with both of them being like that they were able to balance each other out. I wish I could feel again. I keep looking at her profile and secretly hoping she gets bad karma inflicted on her. I keep looking for ways to know that she won’t be better than me. I hate the fact that I’m ugly and she’s hot and she can use that to her advantage. Part of me is VERY tempted to text her and ask her to be apart of my life again.

[SinisterComplex]

Kura, just don't play the game. Also, don't buy into idle and veiled threats. Now I am going to out on a limb here and say your personality isn't like mine so I will advise to not handle it the way I would. I am more of calling your bluff kind of guy and if you make a threat to me you better back it up because backing down is not in my DNA. I am more of the mind of I dare you and bring it!

For you, I highly suggest you just cut ties, chalk it up as a loss and slam the door shut. You did not and do not deserve this kind of treatment. Stand up for yourself by going ice cold zero contact and do your best to forget she existed. This is some very sick and twisted stuff man.

You are not ugly my friend (do not put yourself down...that does not help). Stop believing that. Additionally, never ever under any circumstances believe that some "hot chic" is worth the price of admission. Believe me, usually the pretty ones only offer the physical and beyond that not much else. Give me an average looking woman who can challenge me, make me laugh, cook, and keep up electric conversation over some high maintenance woman stuck on herself believing only sex and her looks matter. If you cannot bring more to the table then your looks and what you do in the bedroom...waste of time.

Keep your head up Kura. Be strong and do not let this woman have anything more to do with you.

Cheers!

-SC-

[Kura]

Thank you, and sorry for venting so much. She and her Narcissistic crazy friend told me that she knew so many people, both in high ranking positions and in gangs. Honestly she was probably telling the truth. I feel like she got away with doing horrible stuff, even though she apologized, although I don’t know if she really meant it. I feel like she’s out there just waiting to come after me. She’s probably going to go so far in life riding on guys the whole way. I can’t get her sadistic laugh and I think of the people she destroyed throughout her life. She said she used to rape and torture people in front of there significant others in order to get them to talk. She said she just laughed and laughed. I hope she doesn’t go far in life. God I just want to get her out of my head and meet a sane beautiful woman.

[Kura]

Also, are all men toys to her? She said she respected people who were like her. Although she trashed talked her close friends

[Kura]

Also what do you make of her having those two guys gang rape her and sending her being gagged and calling out my name begging me for help? Why would she do that?

[Hidden Dragon]

It is all beyond sick. RUN

[Kura]

It amazes me that someone as hot and seductive and successful as her would want that. Well I guess you’d call her successful. She said she did that rape fantasy to help her cope with last abuse. I asked her why she did it when we were together and why they sent it to me? She said we weren’t together and that she just wanted to have a three way.

[SinisterComplex]

Kura, stop trying to understand someone who clearly is unhealthy and has a warped sense of reality and has no idea of what right and wrong is. This woman is chaos incarnate.

The only thing that matters now is you protecting yourself and flushing a turd down the toilet. Yes, humor indeed. No matter how much perfume you spray on a turd underneath it is still a piece of sh*t! I am not going to pull any punches here because what was done to you is incomprehensible. Sadly, there are sick and sadistic people out there who are predators and damage good people.

Choose to be a survivor and move on and do not allow yourself to be a victim from this point forward. And to do one better than HD and saying run...nah that doesn't do it justice...strap yourself to an effing rocket and blast off.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[Kura]

SC - You mentioned that she was manipulating me in another way besides gaslighting. Could you go into a bit more detail? Do you think she subconsciously without intent did everything that she did to me because she knew I would give a reaction to her on everything she did? One of her Narcissistic friends told me that she likely did what she did as a coping mechanism for her own pain and because I’m an emotional man, and kept coming back to her believing I could change her, and out of lust I’ll admit, that I made myself an easy target for her to “cuck” as they say, except she used me that night with her two gangbanger friends by sending me that stuff without my approval because she wanted to actually live out that fantasy. She seemed to get off on it, and she told me the next morning that if I didn’t come over and talk to her, she’d send people over to my apartment to pick me up, which scared me. And when I went over to her place she acted like nothing important happened. I asked her why she didn’t want to have sex with me and she said “I wanted to have a three way.” She said we could have sex but that she needed to have a rape fantasy lived out to make her feel better. I don’t understand it. It makes me feel like I lost my mancard not cashing in and sleeping with a hot girl.

[SinisterComplex]

You did not lose your man card. Ha. Not even close. A nuclear, radioactive, toxic vagina has been the downfall of many men too stupid to learn how to control their impulses. However, I am also on women's side too in saying no man is worth giving yourself too if he doesn't earn it (I am impartial here and stand up for all who get wronged by sh*tty people regardless of sex). Everyone has their own views and everyone is entitled to their own sexuality. However, you have to be smarter with your partners is all I am saying. Having the power to control your impulses and saying NO actually will keep you from bad partners. Say No to them and watch how all the sh*tty behaviors come out and how they implode...it truly can be a spectacle. Women are usually better at this than men, but I do believe more men are getting smarter and learning to say no out of respect for themselves. Ok, that sermon over...

Kura, using fractionation is essentially a mind manipulation technique where your mind is pushed and pulled so a vulnerability is created to make your emotions all jumbled up and when that happens you are fair game and someone who is using the technique can manipulate you and they have you under their spell. In essence, you are being hypnotized so you are impressionable.

Sadly, this manipulation technique you'll see all over the internet being used by pick up artists which I do not condone and honestly if you have to stoop to manipulating someone it makes you a piece of sh*t. If something cannot come of free will it isn't worth having.

You make someone feel something (the pull) and then you take that person out of that state of mind by making him or her focus on some other trivial emotional topic (the push) and then you put them right back to the beginning so now the initial feeling is more intense and harder to shake off and thus now the hook is set and you have them under the spell (checkmate).

As for why I am familiar with the technique..a lot of education and training behind me pertaining to human behavior and the human condition overall.

When you truly take a step back and look at BPD with an objective lens you start to notice how these individuals have been granted what seem like super powers. The universe always course corrects and the human mind and the human body are notorious for overcompensating so when someone is disordered and there is a dysfunction there is a high probability they most likely have gifts or skills that balance it out. To provide a goofy, but useful example...think DareDevil the super hero from Marvel...his blindness is his weakness but he has heightened reflexes. If you need another example...a movie called trouble with the curve...Clint Eastwood's character is a legendary scout who is able to pick up weaknesses in baseball players by sounds since his sight is failing him (brief example, but that is the gist of it). Disordered individuals typically are very attractive, smart, engaging, charismatic, and they are sadly very gifted with the ability to manipulate to get their needs met and other people just become casualties in the process. 

Now I am not claiming to be the oracle know all be all here. Just offering some different insight and perspective. As usual I play the devils' advocate role and shake things up.

Cheers Kura and by all means I am on your side and you have my backing and support 100%. I hope you come out of this situation better and stronger than ever.

-SC-

[Kura]

Thanks SC- it’s hard to believe she has that much power. Part of me feels like she will completely out perform me in life and will go places with no regrets and I won’t go anywhere. Should I start using people too like she does to get ahead? I have thoughts of revenge because I hate the fact she can get things so easy and I have to work hard for it.

Why would she keep having me come over telling me we are going out and then tell me to leave and screw other men, and when I was leaving she kept saying “Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back.” Those two men whom gang raped fantasy with her apparently were in a gang and she talked about how the gang men she knew were so awesome and successful and how hey were so much better than me. I remember goose men spit on me that night and I was angry but knew I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt so powerless and she could have easily destroyed my life she said but she said since I was such a good friend she didn’t want to do that. Should I do what she does to get ahead? Get involved with narcissists so I can become stronger? I don’t want to get hurt and used like this again.

She was an emotional sadist. She appeared to get a kick out of manipulating me and getting reactions out of me. Then would apologize and say she wasn’t being nice and that I needed to get away from her for my safety. I have a lot of lust. I have a lot of self hatred for letting her do that to me. She seemed like she had so much power and she had men whom she knew who would come after me for a quickie. I want revenge and to see her get what’s hers, but it will probably never happen. I tried calling her bluffs sometimes but she found ways to bring me back down under her level with new threats.

[SinisterComplex]

I understand where your head is at and I understand how and why you feel the way you feel. It is normal and it is valid. However, the best way to get retribution...live well. No one wants to hear that of course, but I'm telling you it really is the way to go. By living well and forgetting about her you are sticking it to her showing her she does not matter and she has no power and control over you. Its the best way to go about it.

Do not give into the spiteful rage or notion of revenge. Ultimately that is what she wants actually and is expecting. This is how a disordered individual operates. As I say...you pull the plug and you tell her to go kick rocks! (In your mind you say this...you should have no further communications with this person).

Quit comparing yourself to her. Just do you. You will be fine. You have a lot of work to do on yourself first and foremost. If you put in the work and change your mindsets and perspective you will find more success and you will naturally bring more positive opportunities into your life.

I would highly advise to read up on the law of attraction and the 48 laws of power.

So one thing I also want to explain about karma as well. Most people misinterpret the ideal of karma and what it's definition is. If you ask most people they believe karma is all about people getting what is coming to them because they wronged someone else. Well it doesn't necessarily work like that. Karma is essentially the process of recurring and repeating events that get put into your path. How you respond to those events are what make a difference in your life. When you come to the fork in the road which path do you go down? Are you going to take the path you always have because it is what feels natural and safe? Or, are you going to make the conscious decision to take the different path and face the fear of the unknown?

If you always take the same path you will essentially be reinforcing the notion of insanity...you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (the disordered individual's path). If you take the different path you are choosing to face your fears, take a risk, learn something new, grow and prosper (what your path should be if you can muster up the courage and have the fortitude to do so). Remember that success and life are what you make them. You have the power and you have the control.

Those moments of truth are what I refer to as your sh*t or get off the pot moments...when your instincts and intuition are telling you something...learn to be in tune and follow that!

Kura, continue to vent and just keep yourself in check and monitor yourself daily. Make little benchmarks. You will get through this. You will be ok. Do not under any circumstances give into the negative emotions you feel. Do not let your impulses run amok.

Cheers and best wishes to you!

-SC-

[Kura]

Do you think it is beneficial to become a narcissist? She told me narcissists were ideal because they were successful, and that I was too emotional. She said she was attracted to that.

I wish I could see through that karma gets her. I sometimes wonder why she even apologized to me. I feel like a loser because she wanted the “bad boys” and all I seem to be for women is a tool. She is probably going to end up rich and having all sorts of guys around to support her. It must be nice to be able to use your sexuality to get ahead.

I think I clung to her because of insecurities from past mistakes and I feel like I deserve the abuse and that I could change her. I want to forgive, but I fear that forgiveness will allow me to be hurt again. That I’ll let my guard down.

[SinisterComplex]

No, becoming a narcissist would make you a piece of sh*t. You want positive reciprocal relationships...being narcissistic doesn't bring you that. Just develop more confidence, state your wants and needs. Enforce your boundaries and when someone treads upon said boundaries you must be willing to put them in their place. You give them one fair chance and shot. If they cross that boundary again you tell them to go kick rocks and you walk away.

Don't fall for the veneer of things. Outside appearance only matters so much and is always a put on. Behind closed doors is always a different story.

"I think I clung to her because of insecurities from past mistakes and I feel like I deserve the abuse and that I could change her. I want to forgive, but I fear that forgiveness will allow me to be hurt again. That I’ll let my guard down."

Forgiveness is a sign of strength...not weakness. You forgive, but you don't forget. People do stupid, dumb sh*t all the time and they make mistakes. Hey I can screw up with the best of them, but I never go out of my way to hurt anyone with ill intentions which is usually why I have their respect...remember being respected is more important than being liked. Just learn from your mistakes

No one ever earns or deserves abuse...PERIOD! You did cling to her because of insecurities and she knew that and preyed upon that. Hey man...sh*t happens. It happens to the best of us ok. Don't let that bother you or get to you. Let the experience make you stronger for the next time. This chapter is closed. Don't let her change who you are. No, you just have to process all of it and make progress toward becoming the best version of yourself.

No more being so hard on yourself.

Cheers Kura!

-SC-

[Kura]

Thank you.

It’s difficult, since I’m so sensitive to everything. She told me before we started our fling that I needed to get away from her because she would only bring me down. She said she would never forgive herself if she hurt me. I kept telling her I would be okay, and this happened. I let her get close and she played me. Next time I’ll look for the signs. I’m super afraid of gangsters now. Since she was in one and knew how to use those types of people to hurt others. She used sex as a weapon. Maybe she didn’t really mean to hurt me? Who knows. I wish I could understand it all.

[SinisterComplex]

Kura, it happens. Just take it day by day. Step by step. Brick by brick. You will heal. You will rebuild yourself. She isn't worth all the pain and suffering.

Do not let this experience change who you are at your core. Additionally, do not try so hard to understand something that isn't meant to be understood.

This is just another step in your learning process through life. Be kind to yourself. Head up, better things in the future await as long as you keep your heart open and project positive vibes out to the world.

Cheers!

-SC-

[Kura]

Thank you, you’re words and advice have been very helpful. They say Borderlines can get better. Is that true? After everything that I saw, I can’t tell if she suffers from BPD or if she honestly has psychopathic tendencies. I’ve heard that the two overlap, but it seems that psychopathy ran through my ex. Honestly I guess I should be lucky to have gotten away anyhow. I saw how my ex and close friends of hers got violent and nothing seemed off limits when they felt that their ego was threatened or if they were backed into a corner.

[SinisterComplex]

Can be BPD treated...yes. Is there an actual cure? No. Much the same as PTSD...no cure, but can be treated. The triggers will always remain. The best that someone can hope for is to learn how to cope in a healthy manner and learn how to regulate their emotions.

As for them getting better...it is possible, but we are talking about a lot of work for that to happen and they have to want to do the work to get better. However, many of them do not want to do the work and rarely do they stick with it. However, it is indeed possible. In this scenario though we must focus more on the individual than the disorder itself. The disorder is a monster, but not the person. Now as a I say that...regardless of the disorder or not you also have to take into account that there are just some very sh*tty people in this world regardless. Never under any circumstances give someone a pass for their sh*tty behavior because they may or may not have a disorder.

Now you have to be careful here...do not go down the rabbit hole of discussing psychopathy and sociopathy. I personally am going to sidestep this discussion because there are far too many differing viewpoints and a lot of what is out there is total BS and there is just too much controversy. So as to not throw my hat into the fire I am going to just tell you to not focus on that. Place your focus on healing and getting better.

Yes, count your lucky stars you have gotten away. Please do yourself a favor and focus on living your best life and try to put the situation behind you. You are too good and too kind to be held back by someone mistreating you on this kind of level.

Keep getting better day by day.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-