Researched my way here...

[NatKingCole]

We have 2 toddlers and married happily for over 5 years, that is when my wife is not erupting...


My possible BPD wife and my story goes like this...So I always thought I had issues, and maybe I do but not at the extent I now realize.

When an episode happened from a dish, or a word I said, she would erupt say the worst things ever - sometimes coming from a moment of bliss - weeks or even a month of pure love and joy one word would break it all. I would reason and respond to no avail, I would say Sorry only to get rejected until destruction mentally and emotionally already happened and we were both exhausted...

I would talk to friends about my incident until I realized she was getting upset, talked to family until they were also getting called out. Our Christian marriage group helped the most until we had to move...So I had no more outlet...I would take it all in but it made me miserable and even depressed. So I started reading audibles and researching left and right about the issues shes been calling me out on, that I'm too proud, not loving, selfish, everything hurtful... to a point I realized it takes two to tango and I was possibly getting gaslit...

Turned the table and I researched about her, Narcissist. No...she felt emphatic and I can sense her love was the most real when she wasnt pissed. Depressed, not completely - they were always episodic. I googled and read more audiobooks heading to other scenarios, illnesses, brokenness, etc...- came across Walking On Eggshells and I'm now almost certain I'm married to a possible BPD who I still  love so very much that I want to fight for this...

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[2Loyal2Long]

Welcome!  You’re in the right place.  Check out the Tools, there’s some great articles and skills training on this site.  I’m new as well but wanted to welcome you here.

Those with more experience will see your post and will be along shortly.

Also, there’s a section on success stories that may give you insight into what those are experiencing after implementing the Tools.

Glad you’re here!

[I Am Redeemed]

Hi Nat! I'm sorry for what brings you here but I am glad you found us.

You are definitely not alone here and I hope you will settle in, read and respond to other posts, and I think you will quickly see that we understand what you are experiencing here.

As 2loyal2long mentioned, there is a tools section at the top of this board. We have many resources here to help you communicate with your ubpd (undiagnosed bpd) spouse.

As for your own support, have you considered seeing a counselor for yourself? It can really help to have someone face-to-face that can provide support for you because these relationships can be mentally and emotionally taxing. Marriage groups and friends are great, but it's hard to find people who understand the depth of the issues that bpd relationships can present.

I hope you will share more when you are ready. Again, welcome to the family!