Accusations that I control her mind

[JonS]

Dear All, I´ve been reading your book a lots of times. Nowadays I´m following with the reading. It is the best book I´ve ever read about this theme.
I´m from Argentine and I'm married with a woman who suffers TLP (BPD). Both are adults.

I understand all you write, It´s a great experience. you are very very clear. But my principal problem is the following:
I am living with my wife since 4 years ago. Frequently appear an accusation from she to me that I control her mind, and this is a delirium for me. She says that  a lot of her thoughts are not own Come from outside. And the person who is controlling her is me.

If I love her, I don´t understand how can she think this of me.

All the reasoning things looks like without sense, my mood falls to the floor. I don´t know how to follow. Once a week it is repeated.

I can understand her behaviour (all good or bad), her variable mood, her rage attacks, jealousy, etc. but I can not do anything with her attacks to me accusing me of control her mind.

Please, I need your words, your URGENT help.

Thanks in advance, JONS

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.

Can you give us an example or two of what happens when she says you are controlling her mind?  It will help us better understand what is going on.

Is she in treatment at all or on medications?

We can help you develop coping skills so that you can stay more balanced rather than getting so upset.  This will help you and in turn may help your wife.

I am glad you posted and are reaching out for support.  I hope to hear more from you soon.