Hey everyone! I've been looking at this community for a couple weeks and felt like it was best to join as there are so many supportive people on here helping each other out. With me it's been quite an experience for both the relationship and the breakup. We had a relationship for around a year in which I even lived with her family for a couple months from her home country in the summer. The breakup has been around 2 months and a half.
The breakup has been quite rough for me in a sense that she did a lot of terrible stuff such as threatening to kiss another guy in front of my face and then said it was a "joke" while smiling when apologising. Blaming me for her bulimic episodes was an everyday occurance with the mix of her saying the guy is better than me in every way sexually as well. She's said it's easy for her and has constantly told me to move on, even after the first day. Her idea of moving on is telling me that the relationship doesn't matter and that anything that happened is pretty much none existent, trying to push a friendship on me.
She has "moved on" with another guy (that looks scarily similar to me even acqaintances have confused the guy for me) 2 weeks after the breakup happened. I looked after her best friend on halloween, that she was meant to be with, instead she got drunk with him at a pub and went back to her place. She didn't like that I was talking to her family and friends about what was happening, which was understandable, however she threatened to kill herself to her best friends if they didn't stop talking to me. So now none of them speak to me besides one of her best friends who hates how she treats me terribly and leaves the door open.
She also blocked me on everything besides WhatsApp. I've bumped into them 3 times, 2 of them meeting were within a span of 12 hours apart, and the other time was bumping into them when they were making out outside of the only club people go to (if anyone knows how that feels, you know it stings). She was going out clubbing all the time and drinking with him when during our relationship we never went clubbing due to her antidepressents, me working and the alcohol damaging her throat.
After seeing them the 2 times I decided I couldn't take it and went into NC and then 2 weeks later she started to post all about him on her public IG. They went together on vacation going to trips together, she dyed her hair red and going to all these different places. Literally a week later from her first story I get a message from her telling me the guy still has feelings for his ex, that he lied about his feelings and that everyone is blaming her including the guy. She thought being pretty is all that was needed, I told my friends about it and one of them confronted my ex telling her " Don't F***** dare try to weasel your way back in" and to "Keep your distance". My ex then had a go at me the next day telling me "I only told you because I thought you'd be happy knowing I'm suffering, I don't want our relationship back" and "you need to learn to keep your mouth shut", which lead us to have an argument and the fool that I am still caring about her was too nice. She wished me a Merry Christamas and NY early because she "didn't want to talk to me again".
Then she gave him a second chance because she "really likes him", after the posts telling him to F*** off because he wouldn't commit fully to her. 2 days later from telling him that, so on Christmas eve, she's now pretty much living with him, staying in a house with his friends and liking all their posts when the only posts she likes of my friends, even now like legit 12 hours ago, are when I'm in them. She said to me "Yo Merry Christmas Eve" and I just responded "thanks".
She's tried to add me on my private IG account, that she hasn't blocked, and it was in a state where we just had a request sent each way and never accepted them. Shes cancelled the requests now and added him on her private account where only her closest people are. She contantly archives and unarchives our beach vacation post on her public IG, and of course has now archived it again after adding him on her private. When she was in a relationship with me, she barely showed me off and didn't save stories with me and her, now though every story with him contains love hearts in a new folder with a cute face and a love heart as the title while the 3 stories I'm in with her is with her Makeup.
Truthfully I still care so much about her. She's been giving so many conflicting answers and breadcrumbs when we message each other however I don't think I should get back with her due to everything that's happened and the emotional trauma that she's given me. I still wish that she'll want to go to therapy and that eventually she can help reduce her tendencies but I don't think she will. Thinking someone you treasure will turn into a lost cause due to their actions makes you want to do something, but you can't stop them from their own self-destructive nature.Living with her family and meeting all of them just made me feel closer to her, which now is not helping me because I still fight the urge to text anyone close to her. The free therapy sessions at my Uni are helping and I'm getting a clearer image that although living the lifestyle with her was great, mentally at times dealing with her would break me so I need to stop and focus about my wellbeing.
This has been an insight of my breakup and hoping that this year will be a good one for everyone!
