Looking for a book about healing from Borderline Abuse

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hi guys, I have done a lot of reading. So far How to Stop Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist by  Margalis Fjelstad was the most helpful book by far. I am looking for more suggestions on books that help the victim of the Borderline abuse more so than learning to take care of the BPD or learning how to better communicate/live with them. I have spent my whole life taking care of my BPD mother and I am flat out of energy or interest in making things better for her. It's time for me to have my own life.  If you have any suggestions, I am open.

I tried Surviving the Borderline Parent and Stop Walking on Eggshells. Both had great info but way too much time spent for my purposes focused on helping and having compassion on the BPD.  Sorry if I sound harsh, but it's time I had compassion on me

[safeplace]

Hi guys, I have done a lot of reading. So far How to Stop Caretaking the Borderline/Narcissist by  Margalis Fjelstad was the most helpful book by far. I am looking for more suggestions on books that help the victim of the Borderline abuse more so than learning to take care of the BPD or learning how to better communicate/live with them. I have spent my whole life taking care of my BPD mother and I am flat out of energy or interest in making things better for her. It's time for me to have my own life.  If you have any suggestions, I am open.

I tried Surviving the Borderline Parent and Stop Walking on Eggshells. Both had great info but way too much time spent for my purposes focused on helping and having compassion on the BPD.  Sorry if I sound harsh, but it's time I had compassion on me

[Harri]

Hi.

For books the first thing I was going to mention was Surviving a Borderline Mother   The next is Understanding the Borderline Mother At the bottom of the first post on the book review is a link to a free audio version on youtube.  I found the book helpful in terms of learning about the various behaviors of my mom as understanding that helped me to understand the damage that I experienced.

Another book you might find helpful is:   Toxic Parents Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan Forward, PhD

I have spent my whole life taking care of my BPD mother and I am flat out of energy or interest in making things better for her. It's time for me to have my own life.

I hear you on this.  We talk about learning tools here to help communication and interactions with our family members.  The thing is, while us learning the tools may help our loved ones or family members, learning them is more about helping us cope and make things easier for us, especially when living with them.   If we can learn how to respond rather than react, to have boundaries rather than enable or care take, to learn to de-escalate their behaviors when possible, our lives are much easier.  So with that in mind, I also want to refer you to the tools we talk about here:  How to get the most out of this site

I hope something in those resources is what youa re looking for.

 

[pursuingJoy]

safeplace, you may also want to check out Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend as well as  Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, recommended by I Am Redeemed. Check out IAR's review here.

[safeplace]

Thanks you guys for the suggestions. I have read some of those and will look up the others. I found the exact book I needed!  It's called Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.  Highly recommend.

[Harri]

That is an excellent book!

I just responded to your other thread and asked you about Pete Walker (If you had heard of him).  A lot of us have benefitted from reading his book.

[Woolspinner2000]

Here is another book that has been quite helpful, a self-help book that talks about how you have been affected by BPD and how to help you understand what you've gone through:

Surviving a Borderline Parent

There are a lot of questions throughout the book and exercises for you to work on.

Wools