Ive just been unblocked after 4 months.

[flangleboi]

Its sad to say, but ive been waiting for this day ever since i got blocked. The block came without us even speaking, just after a party were we both attended. She even went there with a guy, blocked me the day after. And we barerly spoke, i think we exchanged "hi's" or something, she didnt seem intersted at all in speaking too me. So i kept my distance.. I hope some off you reading this is aware off my story with my ex BPD, weve been together and broken up twice. And i would love to reconnect with her. Her grandfather also messaged me just about 12 hours after i was unblocked. Wishing me a happy new year, he hasnt messaged me since JUNE. What does this mean? What do I do? Her step sister also contacted me a few days before i got unblocked, telling me she thinks my ex wants too be friends, cuz she started speaking about me out off nowhere..? I would do anything too give us a go and for us to atleast be friends and see what can happen further down the line. Is this a recycle attempt? Will she message me? All help much appreciated..

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[eastofeast]

Is this a recycle attempt? Will she message me? All help much appreciated..

Not necessarily! And... Who knows? Your ex is a different person from my and everybody else's ex. Mine unblocked me on Facebook about a month ago, but nothing else apart from that. No friend request from her, and I'm not getting into that game anyway. I'm pretty sure that I've been spending more time looking at what she's doing than she will have been about me.

Why did she unblock me? We know that they're impulsive, right? I guess she just got curious for a bit. Or maybe she was genuinely missing me, but we have to wonder what exactly it was that she was missing. Does she miss having the guy around that she projected all her **** onto for two years? She probably does, but that's not what a good relationship should look like, is it?

READ READ READ about this condition, and focus on asking yourself why you still want her after everything that she's done to your self-esteem. As someone said on one of your previous posts, you must read "Stop Walking on Eggshells", and I am also just now reading "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist" by Fjelstad. I'm finding it very helpful.

[flangleboi]

Hello, and thanks for the reply. I just ordered walking og eggshells today. So ill have it in a couple off weeks. Well off course there is no way to know why she would do this, but i find it odd that the day after she unblocked me, that her grandfather messaged me for the first time since June. I hope too hear from her soon, and will ask for advice when and IF that happens thanks again

[once removed]

being unblocked can be a positive development.

but if it is, its one thats really important not to read too much into, or react to.

in other words, while it may indicate some ice has thawed, it is not necessarily a means to open up the lines of communication.

to block someone is to erect a high, strong wall. ive only done it myself once or twice in my life.

eventually a person may decide that wall is no longer needed.

but if you reach out, they may decide that it is.

that is speaking generally. its hard to say in this case specifically. it sounds like she spoke to her sister about you. so that tells you shes thinking about you...what shes thinking, is even harder to say.

give it some time. see if she makes a move.

[flangleboi]

Thanks again Once Removed for all your advice. Youve helped me so much this last year or so

[flangleboi]

For some reason, my reply cuts out short. And i cant seem to find a delete button on here.

What i was trying too write was that  her sister contaced me today, and asked if i wanted to join up for a couple off drinks this weekend. My ex will be there, and it would be okay for her if i also came. Any tips on how to stay calm? Im nervous, and thats bad. I want too be able to be my normal self around her, thanks again! :D

[itsmeSnap]

It seems interesting to me that her family is getting involved in getting you guys to meet.

Something happened and the family is aware and trying to help, which means she either talked about not being able to do it herself, or maybe family is doing it behind her back for some reason (like, grandpa wants you to get back together all of a sudden? What's up with that?)

Have you asked why were they inviting you?

[flangleboi]

Thanks, for the reply. And yes i find that odd too, the day after she unblocked me her grandpa messaged me for the first time since we were a couple... Its also weird that her her cousin asked if she could join bowling. I am scared off asking that, cuz who knows what might get trough to her or they tell her

[flangleboi]

That emoji was not supposed to be there

[flangleboi]

I know for a fact that her family was really sad about us breaking up back in June. They didnt see it coming at all, and was left kind off in shock. I know that her cousins and her sister would love for me and them to still be friends. We all got along really well. This  lolmight be the reason? Idk..

[itsmeSnap]

We all got along really well. This  lolmight be the reason? Idk..

With bpd there's often family of origin issues, that's why it stood out to me.

Maybe she's triangulating, maybe her family is pushing for something she might not be quite ready for, for all I know she might be jealous of how you got along so well with her family and not being the center of attention (for pwbpd is often all about themselves and their needs)

Did she talk about her family before the breakup?

[flangleboi]

She talked about her family alot of the time, and i spent most nights over at her place. Her family loved me, they tought i was "good for her". I remeber her mom used to send me messages when i travelled home after spending a couple days at her place. She was so glad that i was with her. I had alot off contact with her mom, both me and her mom tought it would benefit both me and my ex. I dont think my Ex was aware off this though.

[once removed]

asked if i wanted to join up for a couple off drinks this weekend. My ex will be there, and it would be okay for her if i also came.

did this wind up happening?

[flangleboi]

Yes it did. No idea how it went tbh. It seemed like my ex was nervous around me (the good kind off nervous, butterflies) etc. We talked abit, danced some and after about 2 hours i left too meet my friends. I felt like i needed a time off. So up until then i was quite happy with the outcome, then 2 hours later again around 2.30 AM her sister calls me and asks if i want to get some food before we go call it a night and go to sleep. I did, and apperrantly my ex was at some afterparty. No idea if she was with someone or not. Then a couple days went by and i was hoping she would reach out. And then she did (kinda). Just a short simple text where she asked what friends i was partying with before and after i met her at the club. We exchanged a few messages about the night. Then nothing since again. I feel sorta happy now, its progress for sure? How do I take it from here?