Anyone else have emotional flashbacks?

[safeplace]

I didn't even know what emotional flashbacks are until about six months ago, and then I realized I have suffered with them all my adult life. Living with two people who denied my reality, I just always assumed I was crazy.

Wondering if anyone else suffers from them and if you have a physical sensation component like I do?  Most of the literature describes them as emotions such as unexplained fear or dissociative type states, but I also have them with sensations in my back, legs, gut etc. If you have read The Body Keeps Score, I believe it is stored energy from the original memory. Appreciate any feedback.

[Harri]

Hi.  Lots of us have/had emotional flashbacks and some with physical sensations as well.  I know I did and still do have some.  I feel it all in my neck and shoulders usually.  Sometimes as spasms and other times just a tingling sensation as I I am flooded with emotions.

Are you familiar with Pete Walker?  We talk about him a lot and he has a few excellent books that talk about emotional flashbacks.

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD or told about c-PTSD?  I was diagnosed with PTSD with the understanding that it is more c-PTSD (complex PTSD) which is not in the DSM. 

What happens when you feel these sensations?  Can you link them to any events?  what do you do to manage them?

We have an article on Emotional Flashbacks that might help you understand them better and you can see if others report physical sensations as well.

[safeplace]

Hi.  Lots of us have/had emotional flashbacks and some with physical sensations as well.  I know I did and still do have some.  I feel it all in my neck and shoulders usually.  Sometimes as spasms and other times just a tingling sensation as I I am flooded with emotions.

Are you familiar with Pete Walker?  We talk about him a lot and he has a few excellent books that talk about emotional flashbacks.

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD or told about c-PTSD?  I was diagnosed with PTSD with the understanding that it is more c-PTSD (complex PTSD) which is not in the DSM. 

What happens when you feel these sensations?  Can you link them to any events?  what do you do to manage them?

We have an article on Emotional Flashbacks that might help you understand them better and you can see if others report physical sensations as well.

Thank you so much, yes I am actually in the middle of Pete's book. I even emailed him to ask his opinion because he never mentions a physical component. I am not glad you have them, but I am happy to hear you have had the sensations with yours. I don't feel so alone. Yes, I have c-ptsd as I believe almost all children of borderlines have whether they know it yet or not

Right now, mindfulness and deep breathing are my go to's. I have basically been doing almost all of the 13 steps Pete recommends in his book. I will take a look at the link you gave me. Thanks so much. These dang things stopped me from driving for many years because I just thought I was crazy.

[JNChell]

Hi, safeplace. Emotional flashbacks are a real thing. Its not always a dream or hallucination, these things can be felt in our bodies. I’m glad that you brought this up. Emotional flashbacks can be triggered or come out of no where.

I’m clinically diagnosed with PTSD, but have been treated for C-PTSD.

My flashbacks have always been physical. Panic attacks, shutting down socially, pushing people away etc.

What did you feel when you realized you were having an emotional flashback? I have began to shake uncontrollably, I wanted to be left alone and at times I’ve warned people to stay away from me. With work and practice, it gets better.

Peace is real just like the abuse. Which one do we choose?

[zachira]

I have emotional flashbacks though they have gotten much less intense and don't last that long any more. My strategy is to stay present in my mind and body as much as I can, and it seems to work most of the time. If I am ignoring parts of my mind and body, than the emotions can become overwhelming at times. It is painful to spend some of the most important times in our lives with family members that deny our reality and encourage us to live in their insane worlds. "The Body Keeps the Score" is really a great book, and I like that it gives such a complete picture of how trauma affects us and all the alternatives to processing trauma so we can be the peaceful confident people we are meant to be most of the time. Keep searching for answers like you are doing now, and the emotional flashbacks will decrease to the point that they no longer bother you as much, though we never completely forget our painful past. The key is it is the past, and to remind ourselves, especially when we are having an emotional flashback, we are in the present, safe, and have the power to change our lives and the lives of others for the better.

[Maryba]

Hi safe place,

I can really relate. My initial physical pains started as stomach pains, which then became neck and severe arm pain. I went to see all kinds of specialists and no one could find anything wrong. I started reading the body keeps the score and other books on mind body approach and when I started to address my underlying anger and sadness the pain started to alleviate a bit.

There is a book by Dr gabor mate called when the body says no and in the book he says, "when we are unable to say no our bodies will do it for us". Whenever I have physical pains I now try to understand what is going on for me emotionally. I am still learning. My neck and arm still hurts but a lot less.

Dealing with a bpd makes it all that much harder...

[safeplace]

Thanks guys for the information and personal experiences. It helps me to not feel alone.

I did read The Body Keeps Score and I think it's one of those books anyone who had a dysfunctional childhood should read. Great recommendation.

So for me, my flashbacks can be solely emotional where suddenly I feel intense fear, feelings of impending doom, feeling I'm out of control and I can't stop it. These emotions usually trigger feelings of anxiety in my body, churning stomach, weak legs, shakey hands and in the past could progress to racing heart and adrenaline feelings.  Thankfully now that I know what they are, I can deal with them in a better way. Sometimes they are triggered by something, but sometimes I can't see any trigger. It feels like someone put my brain in another time and place. Just the knowing there is a name for this and other people explaining that they have it was a huge breakthrough for me. For my whole life I just thought I was crazy. I thought flashbacks were visual and only for people who suffered through physical trauma like war or sexual assault.  Having these outside of my home is why I stopped driving.

The second part of this is that sometimes with a flashback, I can also have a physical memory in my body and I feel the sensation. Sometimes it feels like strong energy pulling my shoulders or my arm. Sometimes it feels like total weakness in my legs, and sometimes it is the presenting sensation of the flashback and the emotions follow. It's like a zap of sensation or energy and it comes and goes almost instantly.  This is the physical memory of something that happened in my body. This is what I don't hear discussed as much when people talk about flashbacks. I think all these symptoms are unique to our history and trauma.

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi safeplace, 

It's good that you are able to put into words the physical sensations you're feeling because you are helping yourself to process and make sense of what you're going through. While it can be hard sometimes to put the words down, so many of us have found this expression of writing begins to release some of those hidden feelings that we weren't allowed to share when we were growing up. I've been helped by this too.

I think the most obvious physical expression of emotional triggers in my life is manifested through headaches, migraines actually. As I'm healing and working through my PTSD, I find a lessening of them, thankfully. As several others mentioned, when we deal with the trama step by step, it gets better, and the flashbacks slow down and are much less frequent.

So hang in there. I see that you're working hard and I think you're on a great path of healing. 

Wools