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Author Topic: 14 year old daughter not wanting to worship with family Part 3  (Read 1361 times)
formflier
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« Reply #30 on: January 12, 2020, 05:34:36 PM »

  She needs to also be able to develop that tool herself. It's a natural developmental task. 

So...what do I talk to her about then?
 

We talk about her feelings and she develops the ability to have logical, persuasive conversations by talking to other teens?

Seriously...does this just happen "magically" in girls?  Without practice?

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FF
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ct21218
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« Reply #31 on: January 12, 2020, 05:43:44 PM »

Some of her logic needs to come from trial and error.   You don't tell someone what to do and then suddenly stop on their 18th birthday.  I don't see where you are allowing for compromise or letting her learn from the consequences of her actions.  You are coming from a very black and white point of view.  The bible says x so that's how it is. 
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formflier
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« Reply #32 on: January 12, 2020, 05:45:29 PM »

whats your wifes take?

She is all over the place...  

But more often is in the camp of "you can't tell them no because they will rebel and it will be your fault"  (of course she can tell them no and do all the other stuff she does..because she knows best)

She will tell a story to "prove" herself right about her cousins that got fat drinking soda when they were adults.  It's the fault of their parents because their parents restricted their soda intake.  "All they had to do is give them soda growing up and they wouldn't have been fat"

 Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post) Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post) Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post) Frustrated/Unfortunate (click to insert in post)

Good grief...I've heard that story a bazillion times.

Best,

FF
« Last Edit: January 12, 2020, 05:52:07 PM by formflier » Logged

formflier
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« Reply #33 on: January 12, 2020, 05:51:28 PM »

  I don't see where you are allowing for compromise or letting her learn from the consequences of her actions.  

Wouldn't it be a reasonable thing for her to learn that if you claim a book supports/says (x), that others might want to read that for themselves?

What would compromise look like?

Best,

FF
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ct21218
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« Reply #34 on: January 12, 2020, 05:54:33 PM »

Compromise could be something like I respect that you have interest in the old church.  How about you alternate weeks with both the old and new churches?
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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #35 on: January 13, 2020, 06:46:11 PM »

Staff only This thread has reached its maximum length and is now locked. The conversation continues here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=342305.0
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