My ex displays bpd traits but is undiagnosed. How to help her seek treatment?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi. I'm new here. I recently found out that my ex has cheated on me with her then boyfriend. Basically, she was two-timing. My ex has all the classic traits of bpd like lack of boundaries, history of chaotic past relationships, demonising his exes ( apparently all of them cheated on her) etc. She was apparently living with her then boyfriend when she got together with me ( we met online and were in a long distance relationship.) but she introduced him to me as her half-brother. I spoke to her real brother recently and found out that they haven't got any half siblings. I put 2 and 2 together and spoke to the bloke and confirmed that he was indeed her ex boyfriend. Initially, I was chasing after her because we were really good together. I knew i had my flaws during our relationship and i asked her if we could try again in the future after we sort ourselves out (I have PTSD and going to therapy) But after learning that she lied to me, I couldn't care less about getting back together again. However, despite everything, she is a lovely lady and I still love her. I want to try and convince her to seek treatment so she won't sabotage her future relationships anymore. Because despite all the pain, I really believe that she deserves to be happy. How can I convince her to seek help if she's in denial? Furthermore, how can I make her feel that I'm here for her without upsetting her and having her paint me black? I am constantly walking on eggshells for the fear that she will completely block me off her life. At the moment, she is ignoring me and won't even speak to me despite the fact that I was the one who was dumped. I really care about her and want her to be happy. Help?

[12M]

Hi. I'm new here. I recently found out that my ex has cheated on me with her then boyfriend. Basically, she was two-timing. My ex has all the classic traits of bpd like lack of boundaries, history of chaotic past relationships, demonising his exes ( apparently all of them cheated on her) etc. She was apparently living with her then boyfriend when she got together with me ( we met online and were in a long distance relationship.) but she introduced him to me as her half-brother. I spoke to her real brother recently and found out that they haven't got any half siblings. I put 2 and 2 together and spoke to the bloke and confirmed that he was indeed her ex boyfriend. Initially, I was chasing after her because we were really good together. I knew i had my flaws during our relationship and i asked her if we could try again in the future after we sort ourselves out (I have PTSD and going to therapy) But after learning that she lied to me, I couldn't care less about getting back together again. However, despite everything, she is a lovely lady and I still love her. I want to try and convince her to seek treatment so she won't sabotage her future relationships anymore. Because despite all the pain, I really believe that she deserves to be happy. How can I convince her to seek help if she's in denial? Furthermore, how can I make her feel that I'm here for her without upsetting her and having her paint me black? I am constantly walking on eggshells for the fear that she will completely block me off her life. At the moment, she is ignoring me and won't even speak to me despite the fact that I was the one who was dumped. I really care about her and want her to be happy. Help?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.