Consistently being hurt by splitting, don’t know what actions to take

[Bpdsoulmate]

I have been dating my S/O for almost two years at this point and every so often, despite my efforts she will say things like. She knows I don’t love her, and that I don’t care about her anymore, and that she is no longer feeling special. Days or sometimes a week later everything will go back to being great again. But I always have this fear that whatever I’m doing it’s just going to mess up despite my efforts. I am constantly trying to do things for her and there isn’t a second throughout my day where she isn’t on my mind. I try my hardest to show that In everything I do, from schoolwork to simple tasks, I try to do it all for our life together. This is my first post and I’m not too informed on BPD as a whole, but I really hope to learn

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[once removed]

This is my first post and I’m not too informed on BPD as a whole, but I really hope to learn

its gonna take some effort, and some learning, but its possible, and doable.

i suspect that your problem is two fold.

1. people with bpd traits have inherent trust issues, and adequacy issues. that she feels that way, in spite of your efforts, is somewhat, par for the course.

2. somewhere deep down is a kernel of truth to what shes trying to get across. the hard part is sifting through the extremes, the over the top expressions of what someone with bpd traits will say, and really, actively listening to what shes saying.

when shes saying this, id encourage you not to argue, not to counter with demonstrations of your love, but to listen; to get at the heart of what is really going on with her, whether it be in the moment, or long term.