a Happy post

[StressedOutDaily]

Yesterday my DD turned 17.   11 days prior she was admitted back to the residential program.  I knew she was upset that she would be spending her birthday away, and not at home.  I was sad also, and I also knew that she needs to be there, even on her birthday.

Her family therapist was very accommodating and arranged out family therapy appointment at 7:30 in the morning so we would be able to see her on her birthday.   Typically she doesn't hold FT sessions on Tuesdays due to the girls schedule (adventure therapy day), team meetings, etc.

DH and I arrived bright and early, with a birthday gift, cards and a bouquet of flowers.  DD was so excited to show us the common room - the CC's (care coordinator staff) and one of her roommates decorated the common room after C went to sleep with streamers and signs and banners.  The girls made a banner of hearts - and each girl wrote a message to DD on a heart.  She was so surprised when she woke up.

She got to leave campus and go out to lunch with staff and 2 other girls - it wasn't a birthday lunch, but a reward for something...just great luck that it was also her birthday.   The kitchen staff made a birthday cake for her (she said it was delicious) and everyone sang Happy Birthday after dinner.  

It was so nice to hear how happy she was when she called today.  I could hear her smiling through the phone!  That made my heart happy.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[PeaceMom]

SOD,
I so appreciate your good news. Birthdays can be so triggering to pwBPD. Their expectations can be very unrealistic. My DD turned 20 a few days ago and the day did not in anyway live up to her expectations. Full of drama, disappointment and her list of goals not being achieved.
So I will celebrate YOUR DD’s February bday instead!

[FaithHopeLove]

This makes my heart happy too

[twocrazycats]

This is so wonderful it brought tears to my eyes. Happy birthday to your DD, SOD. I hope it gives her an idea of how wonderful life and people can be that will help carry her through the tough times and help her on her road to recovery. I tell my dd to put moments like that in a little (mental) treasure box and take them out when everything seems hopeless.

2CC

[Sillyusername]

This is lovely. Perhaps we should share our joys and gratitude more often.

[Blind1]

That is great news! I love to hear how others are having good moments with their BPD's.

I wish my daughters's birthday went better. My daughter turned 18 a few weeks ago. She didn't want anything to do with us and bailed on the dinner I cooked (her favorite) and the cake. Her younger brothers couldn't understand how you don't come home to celebrate your birthday when we were all waiting. That's what hurts the most. The only good thing was I had a bunch of balloons and made her open the door in the morning before I left for work (I figured she would bail on dinner). She had a little smile on her face, the first time I have seen that in a quite a while. I sang happy birthday to her and gave her a big hug. Even though she didn't want anything to do with me, I still wanted to celebrate her.

[wendydarling]

SOD  

How beautiful, your DD feeling the kindness of others on her birthday. That sounds like a special place she's staying. I say that because my DD responded to the best of health care. She also recognised when invalidated.

Have you read lbjnx's 12 month journal where she shares how positive peer support helped her young DD at RTC. Here is one of my adult DD's positive peer group online friends sharing her story this week.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/stories-51628813/dealing-with-emotions-borderline-personality-disorder?intlink_from_url=&link_location=live-reporting-map

Hope and love.

WDx