How do you cope?

[Abra]

Hello

So glad to have found this site! I have been supporting my daughter (aged 21) who is away at university.  She is yet to be diagnosed but is showing many of the signs of BPD.  She has a good support network where she lives but is struggling to get an assessment or professional support through her GP - seems to be taking forever so we are now looking at a private option.  I am supporting her as much as I can but am finding it exhausting. I am trying to keep calm and look after myself but am very emotional and worry constantly. Have some good friends but they don't always understand and I often feel isolated.  Husband is supportive but out of his depth emotionally.  I would be interested to hear how others cope with this roller coaster!

Thank you
D

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

HiAbra
Welcome to the group. We are glad you are here although sorry for the circumstances. It is not easy having a child with BPD. I am sure others will chime in soon but my best advice is always put self care first. Many of us myself included see therapists of our own to help with the stress. Some of us practice yoga , and meditation, hobbies, really anything that helps us feel like us. This is a difficult journey,  but it need not be all-consuming . Leave space for you.

[Dog ma]

Welcome Debs!

Welcome! “How do you cope” is a great question!
My 27yo D was diagnosed 2 years ago. Up until then it had been solely bipolar. Our relationship has been tumultuous and family gatherings were strained, to say the least. It’s been a long time coming, but I have finally taken the steps to seek out answers to this very same question.
My journey is just beginning, but this is what have been finding helpful so far:
- Learning and Understanding the disorder is very empowering as it gives me perspective of what those with the diagnosis are going through. There are a ton of books out there. I am currently reading “Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder” by Shari Y. Manning
- Understanding my own emotional response to situations, what are my triggers and how to keep myself healthy
- Learning how to respond to difficult situations and how to avoid escalation or crises (not always a guarantee)
- Seeking therapy for myself and finding a parent support group
- Learning DBT dialectic behavior therapy either in a group setting or workbooks
These are just the things I am working on to help me cope. I am sure other folks on here can give you more suggestions.

Best wishes!

[Abra]

Thank you.   It is good to know others feel the same.  I have been reading the book you suggest and it is helpful.  Also trying to carry on life as much as normal and have my own space.

D