I'm trying to get my borderline ex back

[Jayjayjay]

Me and my ex we met in a mental hospital she was in a diffrent ward from me I would see her outside at the door we both smoke I got friendly with her we started to go on walks and one day she told me she like me so I kissed her we became boyfriend and girlfriend. I wasn't going to ask her out till we both got out of hospital but she told me she liked me and I wanted to kiss her so much and I didn't want her to think I was going to use her for sex she ended up in the main hospital she took a overdose funny thing is I text her asked if I could go see her. It was her friend who fb pm me and ask me to go see her.



When she came back to the mental hospital she said she love me wanteds to marry me and wanted to have kids with me told her to calm down she opened up to me told me her former friend raped her and she had to get an aborson because she didn't want to have the rapists child she also to me more about her father who is a acholic who mentally and physically abused her so told me about him at the start then she told me he sexual abused her growing up I was shocked she asked me why I had that look on my face I kissed her she said most guys would have ran and never looked back I stayed with her then

the devalue phase came I didn't know much about bpd so I kinda messed up by not giving her more space and she was rude to me by talking to other guys in the mental ward and not specking to me and so I got jealous called her I wasn't shouting but I didn't know she was that senstive she then got out the mental ward before me I found out she still spoke to her ex I called her and asked if she wanted to be with him I was overthink and focusing on what could go wrong because I was meant to go to her house but I upset her I was anger at the time she I didn't go so I got paranoid and got another girl to write on my Facebook wall then she mailed said she could not believe she thought would do that. I was being nice told her I thought she had class and then she asked why I thought that I was not happy I told her it was because her talking to other guys in the mental ward and being rude to me and her talking to her ex I told her it hurt and she wasn't very affectnet and her not visiting me in hospital she said everybody makes her feel guilty and it hurts and she loves me and why can't I see that and told her I asked the other girl to help me make her jealous I
was losing her why I done it so she would know I'm not destorate a I told her I done it because she was distant and I thought she was trying to find someone else she was not amused. I got her flowers and left them at her door step she started talking to me again and I put I pic of us on Facebook then she mailed me asking me to select it she said Everytime she look at it she seen the post from the other girl under I and she want us to start over again I deleted the photo and the post I was out of hospital I went to the shop she called she I had not read her fb mail I was a bit happy being out the mental ward I told her all those times I asked her if she wanted to back to being friends I wasn't trying to get rid of her and being friend till we were both in a better state of mind. Read the her fb message she said she wanted a relanship but I hurt her I fb told her I overthinking witch lead to negative thoughts and I love her Sher she said she love me too give her space  started talking to her again she told me she ended up back in the mental hospital and singed herself out after 1 night she didn't tell me how she end up back in there
   

Her birthday had past she invited me up to her house I went gave her a cake and a card she smiled when she open the card I just wrote hope you have the best day possilble she looked happy we went to her bedroom she changed right in front of me I seen her in her panties I told her I wanted to get back together she said she wanted to see how we got on outside of hospital first and I was not a no just a bit right now she drives me home later and that was the last time I seen her

I was talking over Facebook messager a few days ago she asked me if I could help her move house I said yes. Her fromer friend raped her in that house . I was writing back straight away she wrote in Facebook I don't know why I bother to make a effort will someone who ends up igorung me I mailed her back she deleted her post she asked me if I could changed her I told her I could try but it's only her that could changed herself . I do want her back but I'm not going to lie to her


She keeps sharing depressing quoate photos on Facebook I wish I could help but if contact her it might make her feel wrose I mentioned her in photo about mental health and told her she does not give herself anuff credit.trying to cheer her up I have ADHD and I am much better I still want her back is playing it cool the best think to do she knows she can call me morning noon or night she has called me before in the middle of the night before and thanked me for answering my phone she said when she is better we could give it another go that was a few weeks ago






What I want to know is how should I handle it

Give her space

If she Facebook mails me don't reply asap wait about a few minutes maby half an hour

Next time we spend time together just be her friend no talk about wanting her back no pressure

I can make her laugh and understand her BPD and her BIpolar better the has both I know they are not the same but simlar


I miss her even when I'm out having a good time I don't just miss her when I'm alone I know now I done a very bad thing trying to make her jealous but I did treat her good I was always suprizing her her with cakes cholate at Christmas time she got me a very nice t shrit designer make and after shave I spent more on her then she did on me I got her a very nice neckless and ciggies I was more good than bad I was being a bit of a dick but she made me jealous I'm not playing the blame game anymore but I got mad and paranoid for a reason because I love her I'm not going to play tricks anymore and I know it could be a few month before I get her back but she is with the wait



But can someone please give me tips I know a bit about BPD but I think I would need to have it to understand it fully

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